[for ben]

[strongerthanblood]

She can't sleep.

For hours, she's tried but something is keeping her awake, some gnawing thing that she can't seem to identify. She gets up to make tea, padding silently through her too big apartment in a pajama set that felt had like a particularly decadent purchase, a soft pink silk tank with thin straps and matching shorts.

Boy shorts, the sales woman had called them. They don't look like anything she's ever seen a boy wear, but she didn't argue. She had thought the set was pretty, and she keeps telling herself that it's okay to get something just because it was pretty. And if a part of the reason she gets it is because maybe she'd like someone else to see it someday, well, she doesn't think on it too hard.

After drinking a cup of tea and doing a little reading, she tries again to go to sleep, but it's futile. She feels too warm, stretched out on one side of the bed with a sheet draped across her legs, and she closes her eyes again to avoid staring up at the ceiling.

She feels so restless, and she allows herself to wonder what Ben is doing, if he's tossing and turning like she is. She thinks of him so often, in a multitude of ways, but right now she thinks of him fondly, wondering what he might look like when he sleeps.

Rey is so busy wondering, in fact, that she doesn't even notice when the mattress subtly dips with added weight.

Comments

[weakandfoolish]

"That's all," he echoed, laughing breathlessly as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, his face tucked into the crook of her neck. Rolling them both onto their sides, he pulled back just far enough to look at her, the tips of their noses almost touching.

Pushing her hair back from her forehead, he smiled faintly, pushing outward with his mind one particular sentiment: Always.

Even in those few moments of death, he had embraced the comfort of knowing that he would become a part of her. One with the Force and one with her.

[strongerthanblood]

"I will keep it in mind." When Ben rolls them onto their sides, he nearly slips out of her and Rey rocks her hips against his, wanting to keep him inside even as she feels him soften inside of her.

She never thought much about the actual mechanics of sex and it surprises her how wet she is, how wet she's made him. They're a mess of slick and sweat and some small animal part of her brain feels immensely satisfied by it.

Ben's hand is so gentle on her face and she sighs, smiling widely at the sound of his voice in her head. Home is right here, in his arms.

"I want you to stay here with me tomorrow," she murmurs, nudging his nose with the tip of hers before kissing the corner of his mouth. "Right here."

[weakandfoolish]

"Right here?" He echoed, smirking faintly as he met her rolling hips with his own, keeping them pressed flush together.

Letting his hand slide away from her face, he traced the slope of her neck, down the hollow of her throat, his palm stopping to rest over her beating heart.

[strongerthanblood]

"The position may very, but yes," she replies in a light tone that trails off into a soft whimper when the movement of his hips causes him to put pressure on her oversensitive clitoris.

As Ben's hand travels down her body, she rolls back a little, twisting at the waist so that her shoulders can rest against the bed while their hips stay pressed together. Her arms go up over her head as she stretches, arching her back a little under his hand.

"I thought a lot about these hands," she admits, placing one over his where it rests between her breasts. That's where it really started, she thinks. That first touch of their fingertips changed her entire world.

[weakandfoolish]

"I know," he admitted softly, his mouth working to stifle a playfully smug smirk. Shifting his hand, he let his fingers rest along the curve of her ribs, his thumb gently circling her nipple.

"It had become a bit... distracting."

[strongerthanblood]

"Are you implying that I wasn't subtle about it?" Her mouth opens in mock outrage and then she smiles, humming happily at the touch to her nipple. She knows that her breasts are small, but she never gave it much thought. It was actually easier that way, with how she lived. There wasn't much there to get in the way, and a simple wrap kept them held in place.

Now she's glad that Ben seems to like her breasts, and she looks down to watch as his strong hand cups one of them. The pad of his thumb nearly covers one nipple entirely and she lets out another content sigh.

"That feels good," she sighs out, because she thinks he might like to know. "I didn't realize that they'd be so sensitive."

[weakandfoolish]

"You tend to be very forthcoming with your feelings," he pointed out, allowing himself a wider smile.

Watching her arch shamelessly under his touch, he said, "Case in point."

[strongerthanblood]

"Simple pleasures, Ben." She grins up at him and bites her lip as his hand trails over the bumps of her ribs. Perhaps she is still a little too skinny, but being in Darrow is helping with that. One good thing about Darrow is that there is no shortage of food.

The other, best thing is right here, smiling down at her and covering her body with his hand, and she takes his wrist to slide his fingers back up until he's cupping her breast, covering it entirely.

"I also really liked what you did with your mouth," she admits, cheeks flushing the slightest bit as she turns back in towards him.

[weakandfoolish]

"So did I," he admitted, grinning boyishly as he rolled his hips. His body ached to the point of overstimulation, but he couldn't seem to help himself. Rolling them again, until she was under him, he slid a hand under her body, lifting her and moving to right them both on the bed. With her head on the pillows, he rolled off of her, finally pulling out of her with a soft hiss at the loss.

"We'll do it again," he promised, "after we sleep."

[strongerthanblood]

It isn't as if she didn't know how strong Ben is, especially after feeling all those muscles work under her hands, but it still makes her flutter around him where he still rests there, soft and intimate, as he lifts her so easily.

She can't help but to let out a quiet whimper when he slips out of her, but she is instantly soothed by the promise of more. But mostly, she thinks, but the idea of a night spent in his arms.

Ben had been a main player in her thoughts even before she gained those memories and knew what it felt like to be held by him, but once she found out just how right it felt, she's only craved more of it.

"If we must," she breathes out, lifting her head to press a kiss to the bridge of his nose, and then the tip of it, and then his swollen mouth. She wants him to know so much tenderness.

[weakandfoolish]

"I'll still be here in the morning," he promised, finding her hand with his and pressing them together, palm to palm. His long fingers threaded with her own, the gesture intimate and familiar.

He'd never slept with anyone else in the bed. Not since he was a child. Now, whatever strangeness he might've felt was fully outweighed by how badly he wanted it. Wanted her.

Reaching down towards the tangle of sheets at the foot of the bed, he drew them up over them, smirking a bit as he tucked them up around her chest.

[strongerthanblood]

“It’s a whole night of firsts,” she says with a bit of wonder in her tone, looking at their joined hands with the same sense of awe. She’s never slept next to anyone, at least not since she was a small child, and she can’t quite seem to hide her eagerness to do just that.

He covers her up and she laughs fondly, lifting the sheet under they’re pressed together front to front, and she can slide one leg between his thighs as she tucks her face under his chin.

“Ben, I—“ She trails off because there don’t seem to be words strong enough for how she feels, so she just pushes her fondness out to him, letting him feel just now content she is to be here with him. “Goodnight, Ben.”