strongerthanblood | [for ben]

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ben solo

[for ben]

She can't sleep.

For hours, she's tried but something is keeping her awake, some gnawing thing that she can't seem to identify. She gets up to make tea, padding silently through her too big apartment in a pajama set that felt had like a particularly decadent purchase, a soft pink silk tank with thin straps and matching shorts.

Boy shorts, the sales woman had called them. They don't look like anything she's ever seen a boy wear, but she didn't argue. She had thought the set was pretty, and she keeps telling herself that it's okay to get something just because it was pretty. And if a part of the reason she gets it is because maybe she'd like someone else to see it someday, well, she doesn't think on it too hard.

After drinking a cup of tea and doing a little reading, she tries again to go to sleep, but it's futile. She feels too warm, stretched out on one side of the bed with a sheet draped across her legs, and she closes her eyes again to avoid staring up at the ceiling.

She feels so restless, and she allows herself to wonder what Ben is doing, if he's tossing and turning like she is. She thinks of him so often, in a multitude of ways, but right now she thinks of him fondly, wondering what he might look like when he sleeps.

Rey is so busy wondering, in fact, that she doesn't even notice when the mattress subtly dips with added weight.

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Breathe.

Repeated to himself, like a mantra. Breathe. Don't lose focus... Don't lose control... Breathe.

She was impossibly tight and searingly hot around him, her legs locked like a vice around his hips, her hands clutching at his shoulders with such strength that he might've noticed a bit of discomfort if not for... everything else. She sobbed and he choked out a sound of his own, panting almost frantically against the curve of her jaw.

Swallowing thickly, he nodded, a choked sound catching in the back of his throat. When he was sure he could breathe again, he lifted his head, touching her face with hands that felt clumsy, his fingers slipping through her hair. He gave her a watery smile, unable to find the words to tell her how it felt, but he knew he didn't have to. She felt it, too.

Breathe.

She catches the echo of his thoughts and makes herself listen as well, taking a deep breath and loosening her grasp. He's trembling slightly and she slides her hand up and down his back, up to into his hair, blunt nails dragging lightly across his scalp.

He pulls back a little and she nearly pulls him back down, but resists the urge when his big hand touches her face with a tenderness that makes her smile up at him.

All of her life was spent searching for a home, a place where she truly belonged, and she's found it in him. They've been through so much together and now they're here, connected as much as its possible for two people to be, and nothing has ever felt so right.

She lifts her head to press a kiss to his mouth, relaxing her desperate hold on him. After another shuddering breath, she rocks her hips a little and groans, arching her back as he moves inside of her.

"You can move," she tells him, reaching up to push his sweat-damp hair away from his forehead to tuck it behind his ear. "I want to feel you."

Only able to nod, Ben turned to kiss the palm of her hand, his breath stuttering in his chest as his hips gave their first tentative roll. With a low whine, he bottomed out again, and again, moving slowly, feeling the way she clenched around him, every gasp and every flinch, and adjusting accordingly.

"You didn't belong with me, Rey," he whispered into the shell of her ear. "You never did. I belonged with you. Always."

Before he'd known her, before she'd been born into existence, their fates were intertwined. But he's gotten it all wrong: She'd never been destined to rule at his side. He was destined to stand by hers.

Every slow thrust of him into her body sends sparks of pleasure shooting up her spine, pressing the air out of her like there isn't any room left in her for it. She would fight another war for this, she thinks.

His quiet words go straight through her chest and into her heart, making her eyes well up as she presses a kiss to his temple. Rey pushes at his shoulder, knowing that he'll let her move him wherever she wants. He slides out of her and she has to bite back an anguished noise, pushing him onto his back and climbing astride his hips.

"We're together now," she assures him, reaching down to wrap her fingers around his length so she can sink back down onto him. He seems to go even deeper in this position, and she tosses her head back with a moan as she swivels her hips.

"Right where we're supposed to be." Bracing one hand on his chest, she leans over him, kissing him deeply as she drags her hips up, whimpering brokenly into his mouth as her body shudders. "This is where you belong, Ben. Where I belong, always. Right here."

Edited 2020-03-16 04:06 (UTC)

Rolling obediently onto his back, Ben blinked up at her, wide-eyed and awestruck, his hands clutching at her narrow hips. Like this, he could touch her, could see all of her, moving with increased confidence, all of her earlier nervousness slipping away.

She had always been deceptively petite, feisty in a way that could easily be dismissed as cute, by someone who did not know her, but there was a power she carried with her. Beyond what her bloodline gave her. Beyond the harshness of her childhood. Beyond the bond they shared. Her voice, as she spoke to him, was low and commanding, full of promise and certainty, and it left him shivering just as much as the friction of their bodies.

Groaning brokenly, Ben forgot about his mantra, about his tenuous control, and with eyes wide, he managed to gasp, "Rey, I—" Before it was all over for him, causing him to make a sound that would've been utterly humiliating had it occurred at any other moment, with anyone else.

With all that she's learned, all that she possesses, it's this that makes her feel powerful. He looks up at her as if she could pluck the stars from the sky, like she's everything, and she never wants it to stop.

She can feel it when he pulses inside of her, clutching at her hips hard enough to bruise. The sound he makes is one that she will never forget, not as long as she lives, and she gives him a pleased grin as she slows the motions of her hips until she's fully seated in his lap, rocking slowly with him filling her up so exquisitely.

"That's good, Ben. That feels so good," she murmurs, sliding her hands along his chest and leaning down to kiss him. Her own pleasure is still there, right at the crest, and she takes his hand to move it where she wants it, pressing his fingers between her legs. "Please, I'm close. I need you."

Letting out a bleary, exhausted groan, Ben touched her as she asked, limbs heavy and unusually lacking in coordination but taking care with her, all the same. Feeling her tensing on top of him, around him, he whimpered into her mouth, holding her tightly as he continued to thrust into her with his softening length.

"Rey," he murmured, pulling back just enough to whisper the words against her lips, long fingers touching her where they were still joined.

The touch of his fingers sends a burst of pleasure through her and she gasps, pressing both of her hands to Ben's chest, trapping his hand between their bodies as he presses up into her, over and over.

It's the way he says her name that does it, and she cries out against his mouth as her body seizes up, pulsing around him as she whimpers into his mouth. It seems to go on and on, and she reaches up to curl her arm around the top of his head, fingers tightening in his hair as she lets out another soft cry that he swallows right up.

When she finally comes down, Rey relaxes down onto him and clenches her inner walls around him possessively, panting against his mouth as she stares down at him. "You feel so good, Ben." She breathes in deep and licks a drop of sweat from his chin. "You're so good."

With another strangled gasp, he clutched desperately at her, their bodies meeting frantically as she chased those cresting waves of pleasure. They were exhausted and panting as they collapsed against one another, his hand sliding up the length of her spine, which was slick with sweat.

"So do you," he murmured, which felt inadequate, but despite his best efforts, he'd never known what to say to her. He smiled brightly, thinking of those last moments on Exegol, but instead of this being an end for them both, he allowed himself to hope that this was only a beginning of something. Something more.

Ben goes quiet and Rey drags her head up to look at him, feeling a flush of warmth when she sees the smile on his face. It's absolutely radiant and Rey feels her own smile stretch in response. Rey has thought he was beautiful since the moment she first saw him, but this is something entirely different. This is resplendent, better than any ocean or lush, green jungle. It's the best thing she's ever seen.

"So that's all it takes to loosen you up, huh?" She's teasing him, but her tone is hopelessly fond. A rush of hope flares through the bond and she reaches out to touch his cheek, thumbing at his swollen bottom lip as her other hand cards through his hair.

"Yes," she murmurs as she leans down to kiss him, clinging to that thread of hope and tumbling right into this new beginning with him. "Yes, Ben, me and you."

"That's all," he echoed, laughing breathlessly as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, his face tucked into the crook of her neck. Rolling them both onto their sides, he pulled back just far enough to look at her, the tips of their noses almost touching.

Pushing her hair back from her forehead, he smiled faintly, pushing outward with his mind one particular sentiment: Always.

Even in those few moments of death, he had embraced the comfort of knowing that he would become a part of her. One with the Force and one with her.

"I will keep it in mind." When Ben rolls them onto their sides, he nearly slips out of her and Rey rocks her hips against his, wanting to keep him inside even as she feels him soften inside of her.

She never thought much about the actual mechanics of sex and it surprises her how wet she is, how wet she's made him. They're a mess of slick and sweat and some small animal part of her brain feels immensely satisfied by it.

Ben's hand is so gentle on her face and she sighs, smiling widely at the sound of his voice in her head. Home is right here, in his arms.

"I want you to stay here with me tomorrow," she murmurs, nudging his nose with the tip of hers before kissing the corner of his mouth. "Right here."

"Right here?" He echoed, smirking faintly as he met her rolling hips with his own, keeping them pressed flush together.

Letting his hand slide away from her face, he traced the slope of her neck, down the hollow of her throat, his palm stopping to rest over her beating heart.

"The position may very, but yes," she replies in a light tone that trails off into a soft whimper when the movement of his hips causes him to put pressure on her oversensitive clitoris.

As Ben's hand travels down her body, she rolls back a little, twisting at the waist so that her shoulders can rest against the bed while their hips stay pressed together. Her arms go up over her head as she stretches, arching her back a little under his hand.

"I thought a lot about these hands," she admits, placing one over his where it rests between her breasts. That's where it really started, she thinks. That first touch of their fingertips changed her entire world.

"I know," he admitted softly, his mouth working to stifle a playfully smug smirk. Shifting his hand, he let his fingers rest along the curve of her ribs, his thumb gently circling her nipple.

"It had become a bit... distracting."

"Are you implying that I wasn't subtle about it?" Her mouth opens in mock outrage and then she smiles, humming happily at the touch to her nipple. She knows that her breasts are small, but she never gave it much thought. It was actually easier that way, with how she lived. There wasn't much there to get in the way, and a simple wrap kept them held in place.

Now she's glad that Ben seems to like her breasts, and she looks down to watch as his strong hand cups one of them. The pad of his thumb nearly covers one nipple entirely and she lets out another content sigh.

"That feels good," she sighs out, because she thinks he might like to know. "I didn't realize that they'd be so sensitive."

"You tend to be very forthcoming with your feelings," he pointed out, allowing himself a wider smile.

Watching her arch shamelessly under his touch, he said, "Case in point."

"Simple pleasures, Ben." She grins up at him and bites her lip as his hand trails over the bumps of her ribs. Perhaps she is still a little too skinny, but being in Darrow is helping with that. One good thing about Darrow is that there is no shortage of food.

The other, best thing is right here, smiling down at her and covering her body with his hand, and she takes his wrist to slide his fingers back up until he's cupping her breast, covering it entirely.

"I also really liked what you did with your mouth," she admits, cheeks flushing the slightest bit as she turns back in towards him.

"So did I," he admitted, grinning boyishly as he rolled his hips. His body ached to the point of overstimulation, but he couldn't seem to help himself. Rolling them again, until she was under him, he slid a hand under her body, lifting her and moving to right them both on the bed. With her head on the pillows, he rolled off of her, finally pulling out of her with a soft hiss at the loss.

"We'll do it again," he promised, "after we sleep."

Edited 2020-03-17 02:18 (UTC)

It isn't as if she didn't know how strong Ben is, especially after feeling all those muscles work under her hands, but it still makes her flutter around him where he still rests there, soft and intimate, as he lifts her so easily.

She can't help but to let out a quiet whimper when he slips out of her, but she is instantly soothed by the promise of more. But mostly, she thinks, but the idea of a night spent in his arms.

Ben had been a main player in her thoughts even before she gained those memories and knew what it felt like to be held by him, but once she found out just how right it felt, she's only craved more of it.

"If we must," she breathes out, lifting her head to press a kiss to the bridge of his nose, and then the tip of it, and then his swollen mouth. She wants him to know so much tenderness.

"I'll still be here in the morning," he promised, finding her hand with his and pressing them together, palm to palm. His long fingers threaded with her own, the gesture intimate and familiar.

He'd never slept with anyone else in the bed. Not since he was a child. Now, whatever strangeness he might've felt was fully outweighed by how badly he wanted it. Wanted her.

Reaching down towards the tangle of sheets at the foot of the bed, he drew them up over them, smirking a bit as he tucked them up around her chest.

“It’s a whole night of firsts,” she says with a bit of wonder in her tone, looking at their joined hands with the same sense of awe. She’s never slept next to anyone, at least not since she was a small child, and she can’t quite seem to hide her eagerness to do just that.

He covers her up and she laughs fondly, lifting the sheet under they’re pressed together front to front, and she can slide one leg between his thighs as she tucks her face under his chin.

“Ben, I—“ She trails off because there don’t seem to be words strong enough for how she feels, so she just pushes her fondness out to him, letting him feel just now content she is to be here with him. “Goodnight, Ben.”

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