Rey Skywalker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
strongerthanblood) wrote2020-03-14 03:55 pm
strongerthanblood) wrote2020-03-14 03:55 pm
Entry tags:
[for ben]
She can't sleep.
For hours, she's tried but something is keeping her awake, some gnawing thing that she can't seem to identify. She gets up to make tea, padding silently through her too big apartment in a pajama set that felt had like a particularly decadent purchase, a soft pink silk tank with thin straps and matching shorts.
Boy shorts, the sales woman had called them. They don't look like anything she's ever seen a boy wear, but she didn't argue. She had thought the set was pretty, and she keeps telling herself that it's okay to get something just because it was pretty. And if a part of the reason she gets it is because maybe she'd like someone else to see it someday, well, she doesn't think on it too hard.
After drinking a cup of tea and doing a little reading, she tries again to go to sleep, but it's futile. She feels too warm, stretched out on one side of the bed with a sheet draped across her legs, and she closes her eyes again to avoid staring up at the ceiling.
She feels so restless, and she allows herself to wonder what Ben is doing, if he's tossing and turning like she is. She thinks of him so often, in a multitude of ways, but right now she thinks of him fondly, wondering what he might look like when he sleeps.
Rey is so busy wondering, in fact, that she doesn't even notice when the mattress subtly dips with added weight.
For hours, she's tried but something is keeping her awake, some gnawing thing that she can't seem to identify. She gets up to make tea, padding silently through her too big apartment in a pajama set that felt had like a particularly decadent purchase, a soft pink silk tank with thin straps and matching shorts.
Boy shorts, the sales woman had called them. They don't look like anything she's ever seen a boy wear, but she didn't argue. She had thought the set was pretty, and she keeps telling herself that it's okay to get something just because it was pretty. And if a part of the reason she gets it is because maybe she'd like someone else to see it someday, well, she doesn't think on it too hard.
After drinking a cup of tea and doing a little reading, she tries again to go to sleep, but it's futile. She feels too warm, stretched out on one side of the bed with a sheet draped across her legs, and she closes her eyes again to avoid staring up at the ceiling.
She feels so restless, and she allows herself to wonder what Ben is doing, if he's tossing and turning like she is. She thinks of him so often, in a multitude of ways, but right now she thinks of him fondly, wondering what he might look like when he sleeps.
Rey is so busy wondering, in fact, that she doesn't even notice when the mattress subtly dips with added weight.
no subject
The clinic is sort of invasive and uncomfortable, but Rey does get some amusement at seeing Ben perched in one of the uncomfortable chairs, looking very stoic just under a large poster detailing female reproductive anatomy.
She leaves with a morning after pill and another small packet of pills that she has to take every day to prevent pregnancy, but she still has to have her monthly bleed which seems wholly unfair. It's worth it, however, if it means that she gets to keep being with Ben without any barriers between them.
They stop at a coffee shop so they can get something to drink, and she washes the pill down with some iced tea. It eases her anxiety over the situation and she smiles up at him, almost shy as she reaches for his hand.
They head back toward her apartment, where they'll spend the rest of the day together. And maybe, if she has her way, the rest of forever.