strongerthanblood | but i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm (for ben)

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ben solo

but i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm (for ben)

When Rey's eyes flutter open upon waking, she immediately shuts them again as she shifts to avoid the light streaming through the window. With a flick of her wrist, the curtains slide shut and sighs as the room dims around her.

She stretches, feeling a pleasant soreness in her muscles that comes from a long, hard day's work. It's only when she turns to the side and sees Ben asleep next to her that she realizes that she isn't in her bed, which is definitely where she fell asleep the previous night, and the night before that.

A project at the junk yard had taken up her attention, and perhaps the bond knew how much she missed being in Ben's presence. She is always aware of him, settled firmly in her mind in a way that's become wholly comforting, but she hasn't seen him in days.

Once she's more awake, she can feel the hum of the bond, drowning out noise around them until she can't even hear the birds that chirp outside of his window in the mornings. Ben is still asleep, with the sheet draped around his hips to reveal his bare torso, so Rey curls up on her side and lets herself look at him.

Eventually looking isn't enough for her so she shifts closer, smiling to herself as she gently trails a fingertip down the length of his arm. It won't take much to wake him, she knows, so she's careful in her movements. Her fingertip moves to the center of his broad chest, and she flattens her palm there as she leans in to press a kiss to his shoulder.

Touching him through the bond is an experience all its own, like a warm tingling throughout her body. It's the perfect thing for a lazy morning, and she lets her palm glide down his stomach as she noses along the inside of his bicep just to take in the musky smell of him, warm with sleep.

"Ben," she whispers, pausing the downward slide of her hand when she reaches the waistband of his underwear. For a moment she considers diving under the sheets to wake him up with her mouth, but she knows he wouldn't sleep through that, so she circles his navel with her thumb instead. "Wake up, sleepy head."

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"You're not sorry at all," he laughed, his shoulders hitting the door with a dull thud.

She was still gloriously naked, kneeling at his feet with a bright, pleased grin on her face, and he'd never seen anything so beautiful.

"If you insist."

“Just a little bit,” she assures him as she hooks her fingers in his underwear and drags them down to reveal something not very little at all.

His cock is still a little hard and she leans in to nuzzle at it apologetically, looking up at him as she reaches between her legs gather slick on her fingers before curling her hand around him him. She breathes hotly against the head, pressing soft kisses to it as the foreskin pulls back.

Being on her knees for a man is not something that ever occurred to Rey, not once in her life. Not until him. He knows this, she’s sure. He knows what it means for her to do this. Not only do it, but enjoy it so much. That she expected even less.

But she does. She likes the musky smell of him, and the slight tang of salt on his skin. She likes the way he fills her mouth, and she hums as he slides across her tongue. Her lips curl around him and she grips the base of him, bobbing her head in a smooth, steady rhythm as she stares up at his face.

It didn't take long for his flagging erection to swell, for him to be overwhelmed by the softness of her mouth, her hands, the smell of her heavy in the air. He watched her, shoulders heaving as he tipped his chin towards his chest and watched his cock disappear between her lips, her eyes steady on his face.

"Alright," he said suddenly, reaching for her, his broad hands somehow both rough and gentle as he urged her to her feet and swapped their positions, crowding her there against the door.

His hands under her thighs, he lifted her, draping her legs around his hips, and taking himself in hand, he nudged the head of his cock against her cunt, which was still slick with the evidence of her arousal. He paused, catching her gaze, brow arched in an unspoken question.

Rey isn’t expecting to be hauled to her feet, nor does she expect the flare of heat she feels as he presses her back against the door. He’s just so big, big enough to blot out anything that isn’t him, and Rey lets out a soft gasp as he lifts her as if she weighs nothing at all.

There is the slightest impulse from her hindbrain to fight against being lifted and pinned, leftover from a life of fighting for survival, but it melts away as soon as it comes because she knows that she is safe here, with him. If things ever did get rough, if they fuck like they used to fight, hard and unyielding, it would only be because it was something both of them wanted.

That utmost safety is evidenced even now, when Ben pauses when he could have kept going. He holds himself still and asks for permission, and Rey feels a fluttering below her breast bone as she nods, hooking her knees over his hips as her arms go around his shoulders.

“Always,” she tells him, echoing his sentiment from earlier as she nods eagerly and rocks her hips forward to try and urge him inside, gasping as the thick head of his cock catches at her entrance. “I want you, Ben.”

Allowing gravity to do much of the work, he angled his hips and pressed inside of her, gasping when she settled, their hips pressed flush. Ducking his head, he panted into the curve of her neck, one hand slipping between the door and the small of her back and cradling her weight.

He'd wanted to fuck her, rough and dirty and making a mess of each other, but as they settled and he caught his breath, he found that he wanted to hold her, to keep her there, as long as they both could stand.

When he pushes into her, she's so slick and ready for him that there is no resistance at all, just one smooth push until the thick length of him is taking up every bit of space inside of her. It leaves her breathless every time, that overwhelming fullness, and she curls her toes as her head falls back against the door with a soft thunk.

She's speared on his cock, suspended there in his arms with nowhere to go, and her cunt flutters contently around him. When she shifts her weight back onto her shoulders, it puts them nearly eye to eye and has the added benefit of making him put pressure on that spot deep inside that makes her quiver.

He doesn't move and Rey doesn't rush him, keeping one hand on the side of his neck as they stare into each other's eyes, chests heaving in unison as their bodies meld into one.

With a labored breath, Ben hitched her body higher, his free hand cradling the side of her jaw as he began to move within her.

"I did miss you. A bit," he managed, his eyes bright with amusement, his chest aching with his awe of her. "We should plan our mornings better," he teased, his mouth nudging against the corner of her own.

“I know you did,” she replies fondly, nuzzling into his giant palm and gasping softly as he starts to rock into her. She takes in his dark eyes and the soft spill of his hair, the upward curve of his full, swollen lips, and feels her heart stutter in her chest.

For twenty years, she had no idea it was possible to care about another person so much. She had no idea it would be him.

“I will admit that I didn’t— ah— think that one through,” she says breathlessly, panting against his cheek before turning her head to kiss him, fingers buried in the thick waves of his hair. His cock nudges up against a spot that makes her shiver all over, legs shaking where they’re curled around his waist.

“We got it right in the end, didn’t we?” She asks against his mouth, nipping at his full upper lip, and she’s pretty sure that she isn’t just talking about the sex.

Edited 2020-08-14 15:58 (UTC)

"I think so," Ben said, chuckling softly, his smile rueful, "It only took us a year. Nearly two. Destruction across galaxies."

Huffing a breath, his hips snapped a bit harder, her body inching higher against the door, his breath ghosting across her lips. He gripped her hip tightly, holding her pinned against door as the full length of his cock plunged into her.

His chest heaving, he shifted so that he could rub tight circles around her clit with the pad of his thumb, concentrating on the way her cunt fluttered greedily around him. "Is there glass on the floor in the bedroom?" He asked, thinking of the sharp pop he'd heard earlier.

Rey lets out a stuttered sort of laugh at that, and slides her hand up into his hair. This hadn't come easy, not to either of them, but Rey has learned enough to know that the best things never do.

His hips snap forward and she lets out a sharp gasp, breasts bouncing as she wraps her arm more tightly around his shoulders. She already feels a bit mindless with pleasure, and then he applies firm pressure to her clit and she whimpers against his mouth, letting her teeth sink gently into his bottom lip.

The question, once it filters though the heavy fog of lusting clouding her brain, makes little sense to her at first. And then she laughs breathlessly against the curve of his jaw, wrapping her limbs a little more securely around him.

"It was the bathroom," she murmurs against his mouth, biting at his lip with a sound like a soft growl. "You're telling me that you wouldn't walk over broken glass for this?"

Edited 2020-08-16 02:42 (UTC)

"I'd rather avoid it," he said, laughing breathlessly, his smile hidden in the damp curve of her throat as he lifted her weight entirely in his arms, his cock seated within her as he carried her ungainly towards the back of the apartment.

"I hear that cleaning blood from the carpet is a nightmare."

Tipping her down onto the foot of the bed, he loomed over her, gripping her thighs and driving into harder and faster than before. She was radiant, her chest flushed, nipples tight and her breasts bouncing with each thrust. Grinning down at her, he reached up to grip one of her breasts, squeezing gently as he tweaked her nipple with his thumb.

"Well, in that case." Rey buries her grin in his hair as he carries her, bow-legged and stumbling, toward the bedroom. His cock slipping out of her is an inevitable loss, but soon enough she's on her back and he's sliding back into her hard enough to enough to have her gasping.

Ben looms over her and Rey can see nothing but him, struck by his bright eyes and wide, easy smile. He only smiles like that for her, and she doesn't even think he knows what it does to her, seeing him like that. Happy.

"I want to tell you how good you are at this," she pants out, arching her back up as she reaches back to rest her arms over her head. Her breast fits neatly into his palm and she whimpers at the added burst of pleasure, unable to help the way it makes her tighten around his cock. "But I know it'll just go to your head."

"You know I'm only good at this because it's you," he said wryly. Because it's us was implied. Because it was instinct, like chasing pleasure of his own, to take one of her knees and push it towards her chest, which tilted her pelvis to an angle that allowed his cock to slide even deeper, pressing steadily against the place inside of her that always made her tremble.

"I want to make a mess of you," he admitted, pinching at her nipple until it was flushed and tight, her breath coming in sharper pants. "How long can they spare you at the junkyard?"

"I know." Their bodies have always moved so well together, perfectly in tune. Of course it would extend to this, too. They were designed to fit together in every way.

He grips her leg underneath her knee and suddenly he's even deeper, almost impossibly so, and she lets out a helpless cry as the pleasure sends a shiver throughout her entire body.

"Please," she pants out, because if this is the beginnings of making a mess of her, she's desperate to see it through. "Forever, for all I care," she assures him, lifting one hand to clutch at his wrist as he toys with her swollen nipple. "I don't have to be there. I'm yours all day, Ben."

She meets his gaze and moans again, gritting her teeth as the pleasure builds. "Do with me as you please."

It was a difficult position to maintain, on his feet with his knees braced against the edge of the mattress, pounding into her in steady rhythm that he knew would bring her to a deeper, more prolonged orgasm... because he'd experienced it himself, the feedback loop of her pleasure driving his own to something he never could've achieved without her. Having no idea that it was possible for a woman to have different types of orgasm, they'd spent a great deal of time learning together.

It was easier, sometimes, to do this with his hand, long fingers curled inside her, driving upwards towards her navel until her cunt spasmed and became almost alarmingly wet, but at this angle, with her spine bowed and her pelvic tilted just right, he had confidence that it would work just fine.

Being the center of Ben’s attention is not new to Rey, but having that intense focus on her while they’re like this is something else entirely. He treats her body not like a problem to solve, but like a puzzle he enjoys piecing together.

He keeps driving his cock into that spot, hard and relentless, and Rey lets out a soft shout as her finger nails dig into his wrist. He other hand falls to the sheets and she twists them in her fingers, back arching as the pleasure builds and builds until she can no longer contain it.

Her orgasm hits her like a freight train and sound she makes is loud and rough, tearing out of her as her body trembles underneath him. She thinks it might be his name, loud and reverent as she bucks up into his hands.

When she can finally open her eyes, she looks up at him and feels her breath hitch, because she can tell that he isn’t done with her, not at all, and the grin she gives him in return is almost feral.

He laughed breathlessly at the sharp grin she gave him, even as her body continued to shudder through the aftershocks, the bright, electric jolt of it simmering beneath his own skin.

He pulled out of her, his cock wet and landing against the crease of her thigh with a wet slap, his lips parted and mouth dry as he watched her body clench in his absence.

"On your hands and knees," he said, but it was more a question than a command, his hands gentle as he nudged her further onto the bed, climbing along after her.

It hasn’t escaped her notice that his gaze is almost always fixated on the place where their bodies meet as he pulls out of her, and she peers into his mind to see what he sees. The image of her cunt, wet and dark pink, clenching down around nothing, makes her suck in a breath.

Rey may be able to control her words, and her actions, but she will never be able to control the way her body responds to his, so openly needy.

Her eyes jerk to his at his request and she shudders as she nods, breathing in deeply as she rolls over onto her belly. They’ve never done it like this before, and she cannot deny that there is something deeply primal about crawling onto her hands and knees and tilting her hips for him, presenting herself for the taking.

When she glances over her shoulder, she has to bite back a smile at the look on Ben’s face, and she cannot resist giving her backside a little wriggle to entice him closer. “Like this?”

"Like this," he confirmed, his voice more hoarse than he'd expected. His hands rested against her hips, taking in the curve of her spine, the swell of her ass, her strong thighs, the glimpse of her pink cunt. There was a streak of wet on the inside of her thigh and he smudged his thumb through it, rubbing it into her skin.

Drawing in a slow, steadying breath, he took himself in hand, stroking idly, but instead of pushing his cock back into her, he slipped three fingers into her instead. Her body was relaxed, taking the intrusion without resistance, and he simply left them there for a moment, feeling the pulse of her heartbeat fluttering against the pads of his fingers through the thin wall of her body.

"I can't..." He trailed off, unable to find the words for what he felt. He couldn't believe that he was allowed to touch her. He couldn't believe that she was so beautiful, so frightfully powerful, so fragile and real beneath his hands. The muscles in her back rippled, corded and strong from her training and her work. He breathed deep, sliding a hand down the length of her back, his hand slipping free of her as he crowded in behind her, replacing his fingers with the length of his cock.

Instead of his cock, Rey gets the thick press of his fingers. They sink into her cunt, still sensitive from her orgasm, and she whimpers as she drops her head between her shoulders.

Ben speaks and Rey takes a breath, letting herself feel what he’s feeling, and the force of it nearly makes her sob. He loves her so much. He appreciates her for all that she is, all of her strengths and flaws, and she reflects all of it right back at him. She loves him just the same.

His cock presses into her and the new angle makes her let out a low groan, hips twitching as he nudges at a sensitive spot deep down, as far as he could possibly go.

“Ben,” she gasps out, feeling her eyes water as his hand slides down her back. Some people say they can do this without involving emotion, but she has no idea how that could be true. But then again, Rey can not fathom even the slightest possibility of doing this with anyone but him. All of her is his, always. “You make me feel so—“

Important. Loved. Respected. All of these things she went so long without any idea of how they might feel.

“Good,” she gasps out, rocking back until her ass is resting in the cradle of his hips.

He couldn't find the words to tell her that he felt the same, so instead, he showed her, letting her feel not only his pleasure, but the feeling of belonging, of purpose... how she'd brought him back to himself, when he thought such a thing impossible.

Clutching at her hips and hunching over her, he shuddered, nearly coming right there on the spot.

"Rey."

Perhaps other people can separate emotions from the mechanical act of sex, but they are not other people.

They are a dyad.

Rey lets out a wild cry as Ben opens their bond, dropping to her elbows as she feels not only her pleasure, but his own. It makes goose flesh break out along her skin, and she closes her eyes tight at the emotion that flows through her. She can feel everything, all of it.

Rey can feel his love for her like a physical thing, throbbing beneath her breastbone, and never in her wildest dreams of being loved did she ever imagine it would feel like this.

Both of them were broken pieces for so long and now, locked together body and mind and soul, they are whole.

His hips snap forward and she cries out his name as another orgasm rips through her, making her hips twitch as she spasms around his cock. She lets him feel all of it, every little tremor, and when she reaches between her body to rub at her sensitive, throbbing clitoris, it’s only so that he can feel it, too.

Ben seemed to have miscalculated his ability not to come the moment she shouted his name, his hands gripping her hips and his hips snapping forward— once, twice, her cunt still gripping him like a vice as he shuddered and spilled within her.

He slurred something, which might have been an apology, because he'd been so sure he could do this for a bit longer.

Hunched over her, he panted against her shoulder, one arm sliding beneath her chest to hold her close to him.

She lets out a shout as Ben’s hips slam forward, and the feedback loop of his orgasm makes her whimper as his cock pulses inside of her. His cheek presses to her sweaty shoulder and she pants out a laugh, smiling as he pulls her more tightly against him.

These are some of her favorite moments. Ben, loose and pliant, free of all worry for a few precious moments as his mind is nothing but pleasurable static. Ben blissfully spent. Ben’s heart beating so hard that she can feel it against her skin. Ben.

Eventually he gets to be too heavy and she gently pushes her shoulder into him so he rolls to his side, falling down against the bed. His cock slips out of her as he does and Rey clenches against the sudden emptiness, flipping onto her back at his side. She takes his giant hand and puts it back on her belly, and lifts her head to give him a soft kiss on the mouth, nipping playfully at his bottom lip as her head falls back to the pillow.

“Worth the trip?” She rasps out, eyes alight with amusement.

Landing on his side with a thud, Ben steadied his breathing, heavy and boneless as she went about rearranging them both. He laughed breathlessly, a bit of the life returning to his limbs, his hand curling against her hip, thumb tracing circles along the softness of her belly.

"And then some," he murmured, chuckling softly as he pressed his lips to the curve of her shoulder.

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