strongerthanblood | but i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm (for ben)

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ben solo

but i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm (for ben)

When Rey's eyes flutter open upon waking, she immediately shuts them again as she shifts to avoid the light streaming through the window. With a flick of her wrist, the curtains slide shut and sighs as the room dims around her.

She stretches, feeling a pleasant soreness in her muscles that comes from a long, hard day's work. It's only when she turns to the side and sees Ben asleep next to her that she realizes that she isn't in her bed, which is definitely where she fell asleep the previous night, and the night before that.

A project at the junk yard had taken up her attention, and perhaps the bond knew how much she missed being in Ben's presence. She is always aware of him, settled firmly in her mind in a way that's become wholly comforting, but she hasn't seen him in days.

Once she's more awake, she can feel the hum of the bond, drowning out noise around them until she can't even hear the birds that chirp outside of his window in the mornings. Ben is still asleep, with the sheet draped around his hips to reveal his bare torso, so Rey curls up on her side and lets herself look at him.

Eventually looking isn't enough for her so she shifts closer, smiling to herself as she gently trails a fingertip down the length of his arm. It won't take much to wake him, she knows, so she's careful in her movements. Her fingertip moves to the center of his broad chest, and she flattens her palm there as she leans in to press a kiss to his shoulder.

Touching him through the bond is an experience all its own, like a warm tingling throughout her body. It's the perfect thing for a lazy morning, and she lets her palm glide down his stomach as she noses along the inside of his bicep just to take in the musky smell of him, warm with sleep.

"Ben," she whispers, pausing the downward slide of her hand when she reaches the waistband of his underwear. For a moment she considers diving under the sheets to wake him up with her mouth, but she knows he wouldn't sleep through that, so she circles his navel with her thumb instead. "Wake up, sleepy head."

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"Like this," he confirmed, his voice more hoarse than he'd expected. His hands rested against her hips, taking in the curve of her spine, the swell of her ass, her strong thighs, the glimpse of her pink cunt. There was a streak of wet on the inside of her thigh and he smudged his thumb through it, rubbing it into her skin.

Drawing in a slow, steadying breath, he took himself in hand, stroking idly, but instead of pushing his cock back into her, he slipped three fingers into her instead. Her body was relaxed, taking the intrusion without resistance, and he simply left them there for a moment, feeling the pulse of her heartbeat fluttering against the pads of his fingers through the thin wall of her body.

"I can't..." He trailed off, unable to find the words for what he felt. He couldn't believe that he was allowed to touch her. He couldn't believe that she was so beautiful, so frightfully powerful, so fragile and real beneath his hands. The muscles in her back rippled, corded and strong from her training and her work. He breathed deep, sliding a hand down the length of her back, his hand slipping free of her as he crowded in behind her, replacing his fingers with the length of his cock.

Instead of his cock, Rey gets the thick press of his fingers. They sink into her cunt, still sensitive from her orgasm, and she whimpers as she drops her head between her shoulders.

Ben speaks and Rey takes a breath, letting herself feel what he’s feeling, and the force of it nearly makes her sob. He loves her so much. He appreciates her for all that she is, all of her strengths and flaws, and she reflects all of it right back at him. She loves him just the same.

His cock presses into her and the new angle makes her let out a low groan, hips twitching as he nudges at a sensitive spot deep down, as far as he could possibly go.

“Ben,” she gasps out, feeling her eyes water as his hand slides down her back. Some people say they can do this without involving emotion, but she has no idea how that could be true. But then again, Rey can not fathom even the slightest possibility of doing this with anyone but him. All of her is his, always. “You make me feel so—“

Important. Loved. Respected. All of these things she went so long without any idea of how they might feel.

“Good,” she gasps out, rocking back until her ass is resting in the cradle of his hips.

He couldn't find the words to tell her that he felt the same, so instead, he showed her, letting her feel not only his pleasure, but the feeling of belonging, of purpose... how she'd brought him back to himself, when he thought such a thing impossible.

Clutching at her hips and hunching over her, he shuddered, nearly coming right there on the spot.

"Rey."

Perhaps other people can separate emotions from the mechanical act of sex, but they are not other people.

They are a dyad.

Rey lets out a wild cry as Ben opens their bond, dropping to her elbows as she feels not only her pleasure, but his own. It makes goose flesh break out along her skin, and she closes her eyes tight at the emotion that flows through her. She can feel everything, all of it.

Rey can feel his love for her like a physical thing, throbbing beneath her breastbone, and never in her wildest dreams of being loved did she ever imagine it would feel like this.

Both of them were broken pieces for so long and now, locked together body and mind and soul, they are whole.

His hips snap forward and she cries out his name as another orgasm rips through her, making her hips twitch as she spasms around his cock. She lets him feel all of it, every little tremor, and when she reaches between her body to rub at her sensitive, throbbing clitoris, it’s only so that he can feel it, too.

Ben seemed to have miscalculated his ability not to come the moment she shouted his name, his hands gripping her hips and his hips snapping forward— once, twice, her cunt still gripping him like a vice as he shuddered and spilled within her.

He slurred something, which might have been an apology, because he'd been so sure he could do this for a bit longer.

Hunched over her, he panted against her shoulder, one arm sliding beneath her chest to hold her close to him.

She lets out a shout as Ben’s hips slam forward, and the feedback loop of his orgasm makes her whimper as his cock pulses inside of her. His cheek presses to her sweaty shoulder and she pants out a laugh, smiling as he pulls her more tightly against him.

These are some of her favorite moments. Ben, loose and pliant, free of all worry for a few precious moments as his mind is nothing but pleasurable static. Ben blissfully spent. Ben’s heart beating so hard that she can feel it against her skin. Ben.

Eventually he gets to be too heavy and she gently pushes her shoulder into him so he rolls to his side, falling down against the bed. His cock slips out of her as he does and Rey clenches against the sudden emptiness, flipping onto her back at his side. She takes his giant hand and puts it back on her belly, and lifts her head to give him a soft kiss on the mouth, nipping playfully at his bottom lip as her head falls back to the pillow.

“Worth the trip?” She rasps out, eyes alight with amusement.

Landing on his side with a thud, Ben steadied his breathing, heavy and boneless as she went about rearranging them both. He laughed breathlessly, a bit of the life returning to his limbs, his hand curling against her hip, thumb tracing circles along the softness of her belly.

"And then some," he murmured, chuckling softly as he pressed his lips to the curve of her shoulder.

She can’t seem to look away from Ben’s face. His expression is so soft and open, eyes warm as he looks down at her like there is nowhere else he would rather be.

He kisses her sweaty shoulder and she reaches up to touch the necklace he gave her, adjusting the pendant so it rests centered on her breastbone.

After a few moments of basking in quiet contentment, Rey feels the now familiar and wholly intimate feeling of Ben’s spend leaking from her body. She likes it, knowing that a part of him will still be inside of her in some way, even hours after they part. She carries him in her mind and in her body.

With a soft, playful smile tugging at her lips, she puts her hand on top of Ben’s on her stomach, sliding it down until she can press his fingers against her tender cunt so he can feel his come there, slick against his fingertips.

“You did say you wanted to make a mess of me,” she tells him, laughing softly and biting her bottom lip as she looks up at his face. “Is this what you meant?”

"That was the idea, yes," Ben murmured, smiling against her skin. Lifting his head, he propped it up in one hand, feeling heavy and strangely outside of himself as he looked down upon her. With a faint smirk, he curled his fingers, letting the very tips of his middle and index slip inside of her, where her flesh was still hot and slick with the evidence of their pleasure.

"I'd hoped it might last a bit longer, but now I need a moment to catch my breath."

“I am certainly not complaining,” she tells him, actually feeling a bit smug at being able to make him lose control, just a little bit. “We have all day.”

Ben’s fingers play at her folds and dip inside of her, and Rey hums softly at the intimate touch. She likes the feel of his hand there even if it isn’t to get her off, because she likes that they’re comfortable enough to touch each other like this without hesitation.

“I like trying new things with you,” she admits after a moment, keeping one hand over his where it plays between her legs, and lifting the other to touch his chin, letting the pad of her thumb rasp over his stubble. She didn’t really give him a chance to shave this morning, after all. “Is there anything else you want to try after you’ve caught your breath?”

She gives him a small, playful grin as she closes her thighs around his hand. “This isn’t a very big mess, after all.”

"I haven't worked out any of the specifics," he admitted, letting out a surprised huff of laughter as she pinned his hand between her thighs. Curling his fingers into her a bit deeper, he brushed the pad of his thumb over her clit, before carefully pulling his hand free.

Sliding his palm along her belly, he followed the dip beneath the cage of her ribs, his hand finally coming to rest curled over the gentle swell of her breast.

“That’s alright. We seem to do a fair job of figuring it out as we go,” Rey tells him, thinking of his reaction earlier, when she had touched him between his legs.

The more curious, engineering part of her wants to push him on his back and explore that further, but there will be time for that later. Right now she lays there and revels in the way he touches her body, gentle and reverent, as she trails her fingertips along his forearm.

“That feels good,” she says softly. Rey went so long without any welcomed touch that she had convinced herself that she didn’t need it, didn’t even want it. Ben has shown her how starved she really was for it, and she knows if all they did for the rest of the day was lay here while his hands traveled across her skin, she’d be happy.

“I think yours might be bigger than mine,” she teases warmly as his broad palm covers her breast, reaching over to poke her fingertip into his impressive pectoral muscle and trace the slight curve underneath. She loves how big he is, how solid and warm, and she’ll never tire of being tucked up against him.

"I'm not sure if that's meant to be an insult to you, or to me," Ben said with a rumble of laughter. "Or is it a complement?"

He spread his hand along the center of her chest, his fingers easily spanning from one side of her ribs to the other.

“All of you is big,” she says with an appreciative smile. As if to prove her point, his hand spans the width of her chest and she takes a deep breath, watching his palm rise and fall with the motion.

“They get the job done,” she breathes out as she reaches up to let her fingertips skim across her breasts. Her nipples are tight and peaked like they always seem to be when he’s close like this, and she rests her hand over his.

She slides his hand down to the narrowest part of her waist just to shiver at the span of his fingers, and hums contentedly as she looks back up at his face.

“Too big. It’s ridiculous, frankly,” she tells him, even though she knows it’s obvious how much she likes it.

"You don't sound convinced," he murmured, his hand spanning nearly the entirety of her belly. He ducked his head to kiss the the flat of her sternum, just above the valley of her breasts.

He felt as though he could spend a lifetime learning her body and never tire of it. There would be no end of things he could learn about her, and from her.

“I suppose I could be convinced,” she teases, watching as he lowers his head to her chest. His mouth touches her skin, gentle and soft, and she lifts her hand to card her fingers through his dark hair, letting her nails trail lightly along his scalp.

She never can seem to stop touching him once she starts, and she curls her other hand against the back of his neck to give it a comforting squeeze. Her fingertips trail over the nape of his neck and along his shoulders, cataloguing each small mole on his pale skin.

He presses another gentle kiss to her chest and she gathers some of his hair at the top of his head in one hand, brushing it back from his forehead. There’s an extra elastic on her nightstand, so she reaches over to grab it and makes a small bun, simply because it’s long enough to do so, and she can.

“There,” she teases warmly, resting her hands on his shoulders and taking in her handiwork. “Now I can see your pretty face.”

As she pulled his hair back from his face, he frowned, reaching up to touch the tight bun at the crown of his head with a peevish expression curling his lips. Truthfully, he struggled not to laugh.

"It must be time for a cut," he said placidly, peering back at her with only the faintest curve of amusement on his lips.

“I could do it, if you want.” she says easily, looking down at him as she cards her fingers at the shorter hair at the base of his skull. “I’ve always cut my own.”

He could go to a proper barber here, she realizes, but she assumes that he probably doesn’t enjoy a stranger touching him so intimately, so she makes the offer anyway.

His ears are revealed like this, and she traces the shells of them with her thumbs. They’re endearingly large and the tips of them get red when he’s flustered. She adores them.

"Hm," he said, a vague acceptance of her offer. Letting strands of her hair slip through his fingers, he added, "At least the ends are even. Mostly."

He struggled to hide his smile.

“You’re so spoiled,” Rey says with a laugh as she puts her palm over Ben’s face and pushes him away hard enough that the tiny bun on his head bounces with the motion.

“Go ahead and go waste money on a fancy haircut, then.”

"I didn't say no," he pointed out, muffled by her palm. Stifling a laugh, he reached up to tug the elastic from his hair, letting it stretch around his wrist instead.

"If it would make you happy to cut my hair, I won't deny you."

Her eyes go to the black elastic around his wrist, and she decides not to ask for it back. Seeing it there makes her feel good, and she wonders if he feels something similar when he sees the necklace around her neck. If so, she should probably get him something better than a hair tie.

“As much as I appreciate the sentiment, you don’t have to do something just to make me happy,” she assures him, reaching up to sweep back the messy spill of his hair. “But, if you were to indulge me, don’t cut it too short.”

Her fingers curl in his hair and she gives it a playful tug. “I rather like having something to hold onto.”

"I'll keep that in mind," he said, chuckling softly as he rolled on his side to face her, his hand curling gently around her forearm to keep her hand there in his hair.

"I know we weren't going to leave this bed, today, but I think we should have some breakfast," he suggested, with an affectionate smirk.

“Are you offering to make me breakfast?” Rey smiles and turns a bit to curl in towards him, letting her fingertips travel from his temple to the nape of his neck over and over again.

She can hardly believe that it’s still morning after all they’ve done, but the birds are still chirping energetically outside.

“I’ve never just spent a day doing nothing before this place.” Every day brought with it a set of tasks and challenges that she could not ignore, even if she’d had a bed to lounge in. Ben must have had days of rest as a child, but she cannot quite imagine him aboard the Supremacy, letting himself be idle.

“I like it quite a bit, as the occasional treat.” She leans in to kiss him and then drags herself into a sitting position next to him, stretching her arms up over her head as her hair tumbles down her back. “What should we do for breakfast, then?”

"I'm not asking you to cook," he teased, bracing himself for her indignation.

"I haven't in a long time," he admitted, sweeping her hair away from the line of her back, just so that he could glimpse the curve of her spine. Pushing himself up to sit, he ducked to press a kiss to the top of her shoulder.

"I'm sure we'll find something." Slipping from the bed, he went in search of his pants, glancing over his shoulder at her with a crooked smile as he strode into the front of the apartment where most of their clothes had been abandoned.

but i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm (for ben)

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