strongerthanblood | [for ben]

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ben solo

[for ben]

After Rey has come home from working on her bike, showered, and fed herself, she ends up being terribly bored. It's a little late but not that late, and she isn't really all that tired, so she does what she always does when she's bored and lonely. She opens the bond.

With a blink, she's standing in Ben's bedroom. He's sprawled on his back in nothing but his underwear with a book on his chest, fast asleep, and Rey's heart nearly bursts with fondness. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps, and she knows that she should probably let him rest, but she finds herself moving closer to the bed.

If she misses him, surely he misses her back, right? He'd probably be pleased to see her, even if it means being woken up.

At least she can make sure that it's a pleasant awakening.

Carefully, she plucks the book from his chest saves his place with the bookmark on his nightstand. After setting the book down, she crawls onto the bed and straddles his waist, leaning over him to press a few soft kisses to his face. One to his cheek, another to his brow, and one to the corner of his mouth.

"Ben," she whispers, grinning as she feels him start to stir. She kisses the tip of his nose and slides her hand down his flank, tucking her fingertips into the waistband of his underwear. "Ben, wake up. I'm bored."

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"Of course I was!" She puts her hands on her hips and then winces, shaking them a bit as she stomps her foot instead. "I wanted you to do it!"

It's easier to be irritated than to admit her own insecurities, and that isn't the only reason anyway. She thought that maybe he needed the space after all he's been through, that maybe she would be underfoot too much.

"I wasn't testing you," she huffs out, taking a guess at deciphering the confused indignation in his expression. Her shoulders slump and she stares down at her hand, frowning as she digs a small piece of rock from her palm with the edge of her thumbnail. "I just wanted you to want me there. I was willing to wait for that to happen."

"I want you there, Rey. I've always wanted you there," he insisted, unable to explain why he'd waited.

Perhaps, after pressuring her so much to join him, to take his hand, to rule with him, he wanted her to know that she was allowed her own space. Her own decisions.

He sighed.

"I don't know what I'm doing."

At the soft admission, Rey lifts her chin to look up at him. One corner of her mouth quirks up and she shuffles forward to rest her face against Ben’s bare chest.

“I don’t know what I’m doing either,” she admits, letting her injured hands hang loosely at her sides. “But I do know that I would give up that apartment tomorrow if it meant that I get to live with you.”

"Where are you? Are you closer to your place or mine?" He asked, hands sliding from her shoulders to her wrists, his touch careful and perusing. Apart from a few scrapes, she seemed uninjured, but he still felt compelled to check and recheck, his nerves still set on edge from the momentary fear he'd felt at the sound of her crying out and sprawling on the floor next to him.

Rey sniffles a bit as Ben checks her over, taking her hands in his with such care that she feels a little overwhelmed by it, in a good way.

She should have just asked him. It would have saved them both some trouble.

“I’m only a few blocks from your place,” she tells him, looking up at him for a long moment before stepping away. “Get out the first aid kit, and I’ll be there soon.”

The bond closes and he blinks out of view, but she can still feel his concern as she turns and heads for his building, albeit a bit more carefully this time. It’s only a few minutes later that she lets herself into the apartment, finding Ben and giving him a helpless shrug at the state of herself.

“I really liked these pants.”

Opening the first aid kit on the bathroom counter, Ben went to wait for her in the living room, his arms folded across his chest to keep himself from descending into an anxious tantrum. When the door opened, he blew out a breath and offered her his hand.

"Come with me," he murmured, turning to lead her into the bathroom, where he'd already put the toilet seat down for her to sit. At the mention of her pants, he smiled faintly.

"We'll get you some new ones."

There is no doubt in Rey’s mind that Ben cares for her, deeply and very much, but seeing him waiting there for her with such concern in his expression still makes her heart do a funny little flip in her chest.

She had always wanted so badly to be loved and now she is, in great abundance. It’s an extraordinary feeling.

“I’m okay, Ben,” she assures him as he leads her into the bathroom. She wriggles carefully out of her pants, wincing slightly as she works them over her knees. Once she’s stripped down to her hoodie and pale blue underwear, she turns to sit on the lid of the toilet and presents her hands for inspection, palms up.

Under the harsh bathroom light, they don’t look as bad as she initially thought. Her palms are terribly scraped, with blood oozing from some places and bits of dirt and rock dug into others, but she’s had much worse. Still, this will make working on her bike difficult for a few days, until it all scabs over, and her lower lip juts out in a slight pout.

The bathroom was cramped, the sink close enough to the toilet that she could easily reached the basin from where she sat. He turned on the water and waited for it to warm, urging her palms over the porcelain.

"I know," he murmured, turning on the vanity light and bending in close to inspect her hands. With a soft washcloth, he wiped away the dirt, letting the trickle of water rinse her palms clean, the pink swirl of it disappearing down the drain.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, after a moment. "I do want you here."

It’s a bit of a strange thing, having someone there to care for her like this. She had to do it for herself for so long, but now she doesn’t. Now there is always someone there for her. It’s wonderful.

She watches as Ben cleans her hands, and then turns her head to look at him when he speaks. Her expression softens and she rests her chin on her arm for a moment before lifting her head again to nudge the tip of nose against the bridge of his.

“You don’t have to be sorry. I could have asked you,” she says quietly, biting briefly at her bottom lip. “You really want to live with me?”

She’s never lived with anyone before. Even during her time on the base with Leia, she had her own chambers.

"Yes, I do," Ben said, one corner of his mouth upturned into a faint smile. "It might be a test of patience. Yours and mine."

Rinsing her palms clean, he gently blotted them dry, then turned to fish a little tube of antibacterial ointment from the kit.

"A worthy challenge for us both."

"It wouldn't be the first time," she says wryly, smiling at him before sitting up a little to hold her hands in front of her. They seem so small cradled in his, and Rey can't help but to be soothed by the gentle way he touches her, like she's something precious. She's learned that this doesn't mean that Ben thinks that she's fragile. It means that he loves her.

"There's the spare room here, and there's always the Falcon," Rey murmurs as Ben carefully applies ointment to her wounds, because she knows that each of them will still need their own space sometimes, even if they do share a home.

It really seems to hit her, then. They're going to share a home, like families do. It's enough to make her eyes sting a bit and she lets out an embarrassed chuckle before leaning in to press her mouth softly to his, smiling as she pulls back enough to press their foreheads together.

"You know I like a good challenge."

"Plenty of places to run to," he teased, dabbing the last bit of ointment on to her skin.

"We'll wrap them up, just for tonight."

In the morning, the wounds would do better with some air, but she would be able to sleep better with them covered.

"I'll be sure to keep you on your toes."

“I’ll be sure to do the same,” she replies, watching as he wraps her hands in thin gauze. It makes her realize how long it’s been since she wrapped her arms. What was nearly a daily ritual has become obsolete here.

Once her hands are wrapped, she leans back against the toilet tank to present her bare knees for the same treatment. Seeing him there, kneeling before her, reminds her why she was running over here in the first place.

“I suppose I ruined our plans,” she says ruefully, reaching out to touch his hair and realizing at the last moment that she can’t, so she huffs and rests her wrapped hands on her thighs, palms up.

Chuckling softly, he said, "It might be nice to sleep next to you without completely wearing ourselves out first."

He kissed the top of her thigh as he blotted at her scrapped knees with a warm cloth.

Putting the cloth aside, he once again dabbed a bit of ointment on her knees, covering on of the deeper scrapes with an adhesive bandage.

"Would you like some tea?"

“The spark is already fading,” she says, but it’s obvious that she’s only teasing. It does sound very nice to be cared for and put to bed. Rey doesn’t think that she would always allow such a thing, mostly because she wouldn’t know how, but it’s a lovely treat.

Ben kisses her leg and she smiles as she touches the back of his head with her fingertips, letting her nails glide soothingly along his scalp before her hands fall away.

“I would love some tea,” she says thickly, feeling vaguely overwhelmed with affection for him as she puts her fingertips under his chin to lift his head slightly, letting her gaze travel adoringly across his face. “Thank you, Ben. For being my family.”

"Careful," he murmured, catching one of her hands and kissing her gauze covered palm.

He smirked, because they were both well aware that she wasn't delicate, and had worked through injuries much more worrisome than these.

"Now, go. Get into bed. I'll be there in a moment."

“Yes, sir,” she says with a soft laugh, leaning in to kiss his cheek before he can stand up. Once he does, Rey does the same and picks up her ruined leggings with a huff. She would hate to throw them away. Maybe she can cut them into shorts for working on the bike in, so they aren’t a total loss.

After folding them and leaving them on the counter, she heads into Ben’s bedroom and pulls her shirt over her head as she looks around. Their bedroom.

Smiling, she takes one of Ben’s black tees from his dresser and pulls it on before climbing into bed and leaning back against the headboard. She looks over at the other side and thinks about getting to fall asleep next to him every night, about waking up in his arms in the mornings.

It’s a wonderful thought.

He returned a few minutes later, with two mugs of tea, the cords from the teabags still trailing from the rims of the cups. He set one down on the bedside table and handed the other to Rey, along with a small handful of toffee shortbread cookies, which he'd started to keep a box of in his cupboard after learning that she liked them.

"Try not to get too many crumbs on the sheets," he said, playfully stern.

When the door creaks open, Rey lifts her head and watches Ben back into the room. The simple domesticity of the moment nearly bowls her over, and she smiles as eyes well up once more.

For awhile after her arrival in Darrow, she had thought that this place was some sort of afterlife. She's given up on that way of thinking for the most part, but sometimes she still wonders. Is this heaven?

She holds out her bandaged hand to take the cookies that he must have bought just because she likes them, and smiles up at him, warm and grateful as her fingers curl over the top of the small pile.

"I make no promises," she replies with a sunny smile, and then tips her chin up to pucker her lips in a silent request for a kiss.

Edited 2020-09-28 04:04 (UTC)

"You'll have to sleep in it. It's your bed, too," Ben pointed out, brow arch, "And before you remind me of all the sand on Jakku, I know you've gotten used to clean sheets."

Smirking, he bent to kiss her, playfully bypassing her lips and kissing her brow instead.

“Are you going to get into our bed?” Rey asks, trying not to let it show on her face just how much that turn of phrase affects her. “Or are you going to keep scolding me for something I haven’t even done yet?”

He kisses her brow instead of her mouth and she swats at his hip with the back of her hand, pushing him away as she shoves a whole cookie into her mouth.

"I was considering it," he said placidly. His refusal to take her bait was, in itself, a playful jab.

She swatted at him and he chuckled, ducking again to press his lips to her own, despite the bulge of cookie stuffed into her mouth.

“Mmph!” Rey’s cheeks are bulging with cookie when he kisses her and she can’t help but to laugh, smearing crumbs across his mouth as she presses into it, curling an arm around his neck to tug him closer.

She pulls back enough to look at him, munching happily as she keeps her arm locked around him to hold him in place.

“You know what’s fun?” She asks with her mouth full, quirking a brow as she watches his face. “Whistling.”

The word alone is enough to have crumbs flying out to hit his cheek, and she uses his surprise to fling herself back and yank him into the bed, on top of her. She snorts out a laugh and swallows the rest of her cookie, pressing a crumby kiss to the top of his head.

His eyes widen, his broad palm lifting to cover her mouth. In his panic, she was able to easily yank him onto the bed, where he landed with a startled shout, the two of them tangled into an ungainly pile of limbs.

"See what happens when I try to be nice," he said, exasperated. Hooking an arm behind her back, he rolled them on the bed, turning to prop himself against the headboard and pulling her neatly into his lap.

"You're impossible." He brushed her hair back from her face, thumbing at the crumbs on her lips, a warm ached settling in his chest.

Rey laughs delightedly as he rolls them over, still carefully clutching her cookies in one bandaged hand as he tucks her against his chest. Her backside rests in the cradle of his hips, and she keeps her legs stretched out to one side, since bending them kind of stings.

She’s so used to working through whatever pain or injury she’s feeling, and it’s a little odd to know that she could take a day or two off, if she wanted, with no real consequence at all. It’s not a luxury that she thinks that she’ll ever grow accustomed to.

“Impossible?” She repeats, with big eyes and a playful pout, jutting her lower lip out as he brushes crumbs away with his massive thumb.

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