For a moment she’s worried that he will pull away, but he doesn’t. His thumbs slide along the backs of her hands and for a moment she feels settled. It’s best not to examine it too closely, she thinks.
The mention of Leia makes her blink, sniffling quietly as a tear rolls down her cheek. Ben pulls away and Rey blinks a few more times, wiping her face before reaching for her own fork. She takes a few bites of her eggs, mostly to give herself a few moments to think.
“I can be proud of a choice you made without forgetting everything that came before it,” she finally says, lifting her gaze to his face. As Kylo Ren, he did despicable things. Terrible, awful things. And that is what has her so conflicted. How can she feel such a longing for someone who was once such a monster?
But she understands him better now. She knows the kinds of voices that were in his head, and while that doesn’t excuse the things he did, it does make her feel for him. She knows for herself how compelling the darkness can be, and how even she was nearly seduced by it.
“I saw a vision of us on the throne, ruling the Sith together,” she admits quietly, swallowing hard as she picks at her eggs. “It was one choice away from being a reality.”
She thinks of Kylo offering his hand that final time, and how she had been frozen with indecision for longer than she would care to admit. “We both went the right way, in the end. I couldn’t have had the strength to do what I did, to kill Palpatine and end it all, if you hadn’t been there.”
Another tear falls and she rolls her lips into her mouth for a moment before reaching up to wipe it away. “If you did die, as you say you did, then you died as Ben Solo. And I am proud to know him.”
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The mention of Leia makes her blink, sniffling quietly as a tear rolls down her cheek. Ben pulls away and Rey blinks a few more times, wiping her face before reaching for her own fork. She takes a few bites of her eggs, mostly to give herself a few moments to think.
“I can be proud of a choice you made without forgetting everything that came before it,” she finally says, lifting her gaze to his face. As Kylo Ren, he did despicable things. Terrible, awful things. And that is what has her so conflicted. How can she feel such a longing for someone who was once such a monster?
But she understands him better now. She knows the kinds of voices that were in his head, and while that doesn’t excuse the things he did, it does make her feel for him. She knows for herself how compelling the darkness can be, and how even she was nearly seduced by it.
“I saw a vision of us on the throne, ruling the Sith together,” she admits quietly, swallowing hard as she picks at her eggs. “It was one choice away from being a reality.”
She thinks of Kylo offering his hand that final time, and how she had been frozen with indecision for longer than she would care to admit. “We both went the right way, in the end. I couldn’t have had the strength to do what I did, to kill Palpatine and end it all, if you hadn’t been there.”
Another tear falls and she rolls her lips into her mouth for a moment before reaching up to wipe it away. “If you did die, as you say you did, then you died as Ben Solo. And I am proud to know him.”