strongerthanblood | [for ben]

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ben solo

[for ben]

She can't sleep.

For hours, she's tried but something is keeping her awake, some gnawing thing that she can't seem to identify. She gets up to make tea, padding silently through her too big apartment in a pajama set that felt had like a particularly decadent purchase, a soft pink silk tank with thin straps and matching shorts.

Boy shorts, the sales woman had called them. They don't look like anything she's ever seen a boy wear, but she didn't argue. She had thought the set was pretty, and she keeps telling herself that it's okay to get something just because it was pretty. And if a part of the reason she gets it is because maybe she'd like someone else to see it someday, well, she doesn't think on it too hard.

After drinking a cup of tea and doing a little reading, she tries again to go to sleep, but it's futile. She feels too warm, stretched out on one side of the bed with a sheet draped across her legs, and she closes her eyes again to avoid staring up at the ceiling.

She feels so restless, and she allows herself to wonder what Ben is doing, if he's tossing and turning like she is. She thinks of him so often, in a multitude of ways, but right now she thinks of him fondly, wondering what he might look like when he sleeps.

Rey is so busy wondering, in fact, that she doesn't even notice when the mattress subtly dips with added weight.

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Rey nods in understanding, swallowing hard as she clutches at him. It isn't just that he isn't sure what to do, and she lets out a shuddering breath as she cards her fingers through her hair, dragging her nails soothingly along his scalp. If he needs her to tell him what to do, she will.

"I'll show you," she says quietly, reaching between them to curl her hand around his wrist. With her other hand, she pushes at his shoulder until he pulls back enough to see where his finger is pressed so deeply into her body. She tugs at his wrist until the digit nearly leaves her body and then pulls him back in, watching his face as she sets an easy rhythm, rocking her hips up against his hand.

"Like this," she tells him breathlessly, nodding jerkily before letting out another soft moan. "Keep doing that with your thumb, and-- and give me another finger, but do it slowly."

Mouth parted, he took her instructions dutifully, propped up on one arm and seated nearly on his haunches as he watched his finger disappear inside of her, easier with each slide.

He was struck by the strange newness of the moment, the absurd normality of it, and he caught her eyes, a bright, crooked grin flickering across his face.

"Now neither of us are sleeping," he said, tentatively playful, even as he slid a second finger into her, just as she'd asked.

The smile on his face makes Rey nearly as breathless as the movement of his finger, and she relaxes her grip on his wrist so that she's merely holding on instead of guiding him.

"I'm sorry, are you tired?" She volleys back, encouraging the playfulness of his tone. Her mouth opens to say something else, but any words she may have formed are wiped completely from her mind as he presses a second finger into her body. There's a slight sting as her body adjusts to the stretch and she slides her fingers up from his wrist to spread more of her slick where she's spread open, pressing down on his knuckles to keep him from moving for a moment.

"You have such big hands," she murmurs, feeling a little dazed as her body clenches down around his fingers. After only a brief moment, she pulls her hand away to grip his wrist with wet fingers, urging him to continue. "Curl them in a little, like you did earlier. That felt--"

She doesn't get to finish before he complies and she lets out a strangled cry, hips jerking as he presses up a spot inside of her that makes her see stars. "I-- I didn't know that was there. Wow."

Her hips bucked, causing his hard length to slide along the crease of her thigh and he choked out a strangled gasp of his own. At her dazed exclamation, he laughed breathlessly, fondly, the pads of his fingers pressing upward against that place within her that seemed to set her alight.

"That's what this is about. Long fingers and a better angle," he observed wryly, grinning as he pressed in deeper, the pad of his thumb pressing against the tight, swollen bundle of nerves.

"Yes, only that," she huffs out with a grin of her own, feeling a rush of affection for him, pushing it out toward him because it's so important to her that he knows. He's worthy of it all.

Even as overwhelmed with pleasure as she is, it's impossible to miss the blunt press of him against her thigh. Her hand slides down his arm and she watches his face and she lightly drags the pads of two fingers down the length of it. The softness of the skin surprises her nearly as much as how hard it is, and she curls her fingers loosely around him even at the awkward angle.

That's going inside of her, she realizes. Very soon, this thick, rigid length will press into her body and it seems impossible that there would even be room, but she knows that she'll make space for him. He belongs there, inside of her body, and she lets out a choked moan as another wave of pleasure crashes over her.

It seems to build and build as he works her with his fingers, pressing at her clitoris with relentless pressure. Soon it becomes so intense that for a moment Rey feels almost frantic, like she can't possibly take anymore, and her hips jerk as she tries to pull away.

But then it reaches its peak and Rey cries out sharply, arching her back as her body spasms around Ben's fingers. It's a pleasure unlike anything she's ever felt, taking over her body in a way that leaves her in control of nothing. There isn't anything she can do but give into it and she lets herself ride the wave of it, feeling like she's adrift in an endless ocean as her thighs close tightly around him. "Oh-- oh, Ben."

His focus narrowed sharply to the smallest details, the reedy sound of her voice, the way her thighs trembled, the blunt press of her nails into his biceps, and the heady smell of her. Everything seemed to wind tighter and tighter, hanging for a long, still moment on the edge of a precipice, before he was able to watch her unravel there before his eyes.

He could feel it, too. The crest of her pleasure, washing over her again and again. Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he fought suddenly against his own orgasm, his length jolting impatiently in the palm of her hand.

She was obscenely wet, his fingers sliding from her with an audible squelch. He wanted to bury his face there, to taste her— wanted it with such clarity that he knew she would be able to see it, in his mind. He groaned, hips twitching desperately, his slick hand moving to grip the sheets at her hip.

Ben leans over her again and Rey clutches at him desperately, wrapping her arms around his neck like he's an anchor as she fights her way back to the surface. She takes a breath, and then another, and then gasps as she sees the image in his mind.

The obscenity of it shocks her for the briefest moment, but then she pictures it as well, imagining what his tongue might feel like against her swollen clitoris.

Suddenly she's torn between two wants, and she has to decide which to pick. He's right there, thick and heavy between her legs, and he could press into her. She wants it desperately, but even in her haze of pleasure she remembers the pinch of his fingers.

"You want to use your mouth?" She pants the question, blinking owlishly as she reaches between them to wrap her fingers around his length again. Her hand can't even close around it fully and she swallows hard, doing her best to formulate a complete thought.

"You can, Ben. You can," she tells him, turning to press sloppy kisses to the side of his face. She's too overwhelmed with pleasure to be embarrassed, and she hums as she slides the length of him through her slick folds, easing the way of her hand. "You have to stretch me open more first. Three fingers, and-- and your mouth. Ben, your mouth. It's so beautiful."

Heaving himself off of her, he crawled lower on the bed, realizing vaguely that the two of them had sprawled diagonally across the mattress. "I don't know how much longer I can keep this up," he admitted with a boyish laugh, muffled against her hip, and slid his fingers into her again, this time to help work her open. Two, at first, then, as he kissed the inside of her thigh, a third, keeping them tucked in together to ease the press of them. This was the first time he felt any real resistance, and he moved slowly, methodically, and just as he felt her tense with discomfort, he buried his face between her legs, his mouth closing over her clitoris.

The taste of her was unlike anything he'd ever experienced. Unpleasant, he thought, if it had been anyone but her. In fact, the idea of doing this with anyone else seemed utterly ludicrous.

Edited 2020-03-16 01:42 (UTC)

"Just a little longer," she promises with a soft laugh, pushing up onto her elbows as he moves down her body. "I want it. I just--"

She hisses slightly at the press of his thick fingers, but the sudden press of his mouth chases away the ache and she lets out a loud moan as her fingers tangle in his hair.

Her eyes are wide as she watches his plush lips press against her flesh, shining with her slick. The sight of it sends a flash of possessiveness through her, and she trails her hand reverently along his face. She doesn't own him. She doesn't control him, but he is still hers. They belong to each other, and she knows, she just knows that he'll be the only one to ever touch her like this.

His fingers press in deeply, brushing against that spot inside of her, and she feels her eyes roll back in her head as pleasure rockets through her again. Her abs tighten and she grips at his hair, crying out as her thighs tremble under his hands. She flutters around him again and her body demands more, more, all of him.

"Ben, come here." She pets uselessly at his hair, spreading her legs wider and yelping as his tongue drags over her clitoris again. "Please, please. I need to feel you. Please."

Edited 2020-03-16 01:49 (UTC)

"Okay, all right," he said, as if playfully indulging her impatience, and not equally desperate. Shifting away from her, he wipe the back of his hand across his mouth. He was still a bit taken aback by the smaller, awkward details of the way their bodies worked, and by how the messy complications of sex, which had always seemed more trouble than they were worth, seemed only to urge him on.

Crawling up her body, he found her looking wild and flushed, smiling with so much abandon and trust.

Taking himself in hand, he ducked down to kiss her as he rubbed the head of his length against the slick folds of her, his hips rolling tentatively to press inside. Logically, he knew that they had tumbled into this a bit too quickly. There were perhaps things they needed to say. But he felt in his heart that they understood one another. There were no secrets left, no miscommunications, no uncertainties.

He moved slowly, carefully, listening to her, feeling her, letting his mind flow into hers. No walls or pretenses left between them.

The soft press of his mouth to her quiets the rush of her mind, and she lets out a soft hum when she realizes that she can taste herself on his lips. It's so distracting that it's only the blunt press of him against her entrance that makes her pull away with a gasp.

There is some slight discomfort but it takes a backseat to the rightness of it all, his length pressing into her body. With him sliding into her and their bond thrown open, they truly are one body, one soul. One heart.

"Ben." She lets out a sob, but it isn't one of pain. More like she's just completely overwhelmed by it all, and she clutches at his shoulders as he rocks into her, little by little, until she can take all of him.

"Oh." He bottoms out, seeming to nudge against some place deep inside of her, and somehow she knows that he couldn't go any deeper. They're a perfect fit, a key in a lock, designed specifically for one another.

"Stay, for a second. Just like this," she gasps out, trembling all over as she takes a gulping breath and adjusts to the size of him, clenching down experimentally around his length.

"It feels so perfect." She doesn't realize that she's crying until she lets out another sob, feeling tears roll down her temples as she clings to him desperately. "Doesn't it, Ben?"

Breathe.

Repeated to himself, like a mantra. Breathe. Don't lose focus... Don't lose control... Breathe.

She was impossibly tight and searingly hot around him, her legs locked like a vice around his hips, her hands clutching at his shoulders with such strength that he might've noticed a bit of discomfort if not for... everything else. She sobbed and he choked out a sound of his own, panting almost frantically against the curve of her jaw.

Swallowing thickly, he nodded, a choked sound catching in the back of his throat. When he was sure he could breathe again, he lifted his head, touching her face with hands that felt clumsy, his fingers slipping through her hair. He gave her a watery smile, unable to find the words to tell her how it felt, but he knew he didn't have to. She felt it, too.

Breathe.

She catches the echo of his thoughts and makes herself listen as well, taking a deep breath and loosening her grasp. He's trembling slightly and she slides her hand up and down his back, up to into his hair, blunt nails dragging lightly across his scalp.

He pulls back a little and she nearly pulls him back down, but resists the urge when his big hand touches her face with a tenderness that makes her smile up at him.

All of her life was spent searching for a home, a place where she truly belonged, and she's found it in him. They've been through so much together and now they're here, connected as much as its possible for two people to be, and nothing has ever felt so right.

She lifts her head to press a kiss to his mouth, relaxing her desperate hold on him. After another shuddering breath, she rocks her hips a little and groans, arching her back as he moves inside of her.

"You can move," she tells him, reaching up to push his sweat-damp hair away from his forehead to tuck it behind his ear. "I want to feel you."

Only able to nod, Ben turned to kiss the palm of her hand, his breath stuttering in his chest as his hips gave their first tentative roll. With a low whine, he bottomed out again, and again, moving slowly, feeling the way she clenched around him, every gasp and every flinch, and adjusting accordingly.

"You didn't belong with me, Rey," he whispered into the shell of her ear. "You never did. I belonged with you. Always."

Before he'd known her, before she'd been born into existence, their fates were intertwined. But he's gotten it all wrong: She'd never been destined to rule at his side. He was destined to stand by hers.

Every slow thrust of him into her body sends sparks of pleasure shooting up her spine, pressing the air out of her like there isn't any room left in her for it. She would fight another war for this, she thinks.

His quiet words go straight through her chest and into her heart, making her eyes well up as she presses a kiss to his temple. Rey pushes at his shoulder, knowing that he'll let her move him wherever she wants. He slides out of her and she has to bite back an anguished noise, pushing him onto his back and climbing astride his hips.

"We're together now," she assures him, reaching down to wrap her fingers around his length so she can sink back down onto him. He seems to go even deeper in this position, and she tosses her head back with a moan as she swivels her hips.

"Right where we're supposed to be." Bracing one hand on his chest, she leans over him, kissing him deeply as she drags her hips up, whimpering brokenly into his mouth as her body shudders. "This is where you belong, Ben. Where I belong, always. Right here."

Edited 2020-03-16 04:06 (UTC)

Rolling obediently onto his back, Ben blinked up at her, wide-eyed and awestruck, his hands clutching at her narrow hips. Like this, he could touch her, could see all of her, moving with increased confidence, all of her earlier nervousness slipping away.

She had always been deceptively petite, feisty in a way that could easily be dismissed as cute, by someone who did not know her, but there was a power she carried with her. Beyond what her bloodline gave her. Beyond the harshness of her childhood. Beyond the bond they shared. Her voice, as she spoke to him, was low and commanding, full of promise and certainty, and it left him shivering just as much as the friction of their bodies.

Groaning brokenly, Ben forgot about his mantra, about his tenuous control, and with eyes wide, he managed to gasp, "Rey, I—" Before it was all over for him, causing him to make a sound that would've been utterly humiliating had it occurred at any other moment, with anyone else.

With all that she's learned, all that she possesses, it's this that makes her feel powerful. He looks up at her as if she could pluck the stars from the sky, like she's everything, and she never wants it to stop.

She can feel it when he pulses inside of her, clutching at her hips hard enough to bruise. The sound he makes is one that she will never forget, not as long as she lives, and she gives him a pleased grin as she slows the motions of her hips until she's fully seated in his lap, rocking slowly with him filling her up so exquisitely.

"That's good, Ben. That feels so good," she murmurs, sliding her hands along his chest and leaning down to kiss him. Her own pleasure is still there, right at the crest, and she takes his hand to move it where she wants it, pressing his fingers between her legs. "Please, I'm close. I need you."

Letting out a bleary, exhausted groan, Ben touched her as she asked, limbs heavy and unusually lacking in coordination but taking care with her, all the same. Feeling her tensing on top of him, around him, he whimpered into her mouth, holding her tightly as he continued to thrust into her with his softening length.

"Rey," he murmured, pulling back just enough to whisper the words against her lips, long fingers touching her where they were still joined.

The touch of his fingers sends a burst of pleasure through her and she gasps, pressing both of her hands to Ben's chest, trapping his hand between their bodies as he presses up into her, over and over.

It's the way he says her name that does it, and she cries out against his mouth as her body seizes up, pulsing around him as she whimpers into his mouth. It seems to go on and on, and she reaches up to curl her arm around the top of his head, fingers tightening in his hair as she lets out another soft cry that he swallows right up.

When she finally comes down, Rey relaxes down onto him and clenches her inner walls around him possessively, panting against his mouth as she stares down at him. "You feel so good, Ben." She breathes in deep and licks a drop of sweat from his chin. "You're so good."

With another strangled gasp, he clutched desperately at her, their bodies meeting frantically as she chased those cresting waves of pleasure. They were exhausted and panting as they collapsed against one another, his hand sliding up the length of her spine, which was slick with sweat.

"So do you," he murmured, which felt inadequate, but despite his best efforts, he'd never known what to say to her. He smiled brightly, thinking of those last moments on Exegol, but instead of this being an end for them both, he allowed himself to hope that this was only a beginning of something. Something more.

Ben goes quiet and Rey drags her head up to look at him, feeling a flush of warmth when she sees the smile on his face. It's absolutely radiant and Rey feels her own smile stretch in response. Rey has thought he was beautiful since the moment she first saw him, but this is something entirely different. This is resplendent, better than any ocean or lush, green jungle. It's the best thing she's ever seen.

"So that's all it takes to loosen you up, huh?" She's teasing him, but her tone is hopelessly fond. A rush of hope flares through the bond and she reaches out to touch his cheek, thumbing at his swollen bottom lip as her other hand cards through his hair.

"Yes," she murmurs as she leans down to kiss him, clinging to that thread of hope and tumbling right into this new beginning with him. "Yes, Ben, me and you."

"That's all," he echoed, laughing breathlessly as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, his face tucked into the crook of her neck. Rolling them both onto their sides, he pulled back just far enough to look at her, the tips of their noses almost touching.

Pushing her hair back from her forehead, he smiled faintly, pushing outward with his mind one particular sentiment: Always.

Even in those few moments of death, he had embraced the comfort of knowing that he would become a part of her. One with the Force and one with her.

"I will keep it in mind." When Ben rolls them onto their sides, he nearly slips out of her and Rey rocks her hips against his, wanting to keep him inside even as she feels him soften inside of her.

She never thought much about the actual mechanics of sex and it surprises her how wet she is, how wet she's made him. They're a mess of slick and sweat and some small animal part of her brain feels immensely satisfied by it.

Ben's hand is so gentle on her face and she sighs, smiling widely at the sound of his voice in her head. Home is right here, in his arms.

"I want you to stay here with me tomorrow," she murmurs, nudging his nose with the tip of hers before kissing the corner of his mouth. "Right here."

"Right here?" He echoed, smirking faintly as he met her rolling hips with his own, keeping them pressed flush together.

Letting his hand slide away from her face, he traced the slope of her neck, down the hollow of her throat, his palm stopping to rest over her beating heart.

"The position may very, but yes," she replies in a light tone that trails off into a soft whimper when the movement of his hips causes him to put pressure on her oversensitive clitoris.

As Ben's hand travels down her body, she rolls back a little, twisting at the waist so that her shoulders can rest against the bed while their hips stay pressed together. Her arms go up over her head as she stretches, arching her back a little under his hand.

"I thought a lot about these hands," she admits, placing one over his where it rests between her breasts. That's where it really started, she thinks. That first touch of their fingertips changed her entire world.

[for ben]

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