strongerthanblood | [for ben]

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ben solo

[for ben]

She can't sleep.

For hours, she's tried but something is keeping her awake, some gnawing thing that she can't seem to identify. She gets up to make tea, padding silently through her too big apartment in a pajama set that felt had like a particularly decadent purchase, a soft pink silk tank with thin straps and matching shorts.

Boy shorts, the sales woman had called them. They don't look like anything she's ever seen a boy wear, but she didn't argue. She had thought the set was pretty, and she keeps telling herself that it's okay to get something just because it was pretty. And if a part of the reason she gets it is because maybe she'd like someone else to see it someday, well, she doesn't think on it too hard.

After drinking a cup of tea and doing a little reading, she tries again to go to sleep, but it's futile. She feels too warm, stretched out on one side of the bed with a sheet draped across her legs, and she closes her eyes again to avoid staring up at the ceiling.

She feels so restless, and she allows herself to wonder what Ben is doing, if he's tossing and turning like she is. She thinks of him so often, in a multitude of ways, but right now she thinks of him fondly, wondering what he might look like when he sleeps.

Rey is so busy wondering, in fact, that she doesn't even notice when the mattress subtly dips with added weight.

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Logically, he knew that eventually the fire of this would burn lower, and they would be able to focus on other things. They would, eventually, be able to look at the world outside of one another. But for now, that seemed unfathomable. Their bodies were made for one another, and all that time spent at odds could only be remedied by this... By giving into this, giving in to her.

He was struck by the animal nature of this, the selfishness of their obsession with one another, the very antithesis of what the Jedi demanded of them. Neither of them had ever excelled at following rules, and perhaps it was arrogance, believing that they had the capacity to change things, but he had to believe— he had to hope that they were choosing each other for the right reasons.

She moaned with abandon, her teeth clenched, looking upon him with the same ferocity she'd shown on the wave-swept ruins of the Death Star. Feeling lost in a frenzy, he drew himself up onto his haunches, pulling her into the cradle of his hips, his hand sliding from her flank to touch her where she was still so wet and swollen.

Ben drags her in by the hips, speared across his thighs, and in this position Rey can do little but lie back and take it. She does just that, throwing her arms up over her head as she stares up at him, knowing her body is completely on display in the glowing sunlight. Every freckle, every scar.

A filthy curse bursts out of her at that confident press of his fingers. She’s sensitive almost to the point of soreness but it doesn’t matter, because she wants more. Rey thought she knew true hunger but she had no idea, not until this. Not until Ben.

This time her orgasm seems to take her by surprise, and she cries out sharply as she throws her hand out and halts the motion of his fingers with the Force, because it’s too much and she’s gushing wetly against his palm while gasping out his name.

Her whole body trembles with the aftershocks and she releases the hold on his fingers after pulling them away from where she’s most sensitive. Gulping for breath, she heaves herself up until she can wrap her arms around him, nestled perfectly in his lap as his cock sinks in as deeply as he can go, filling her entirely as she clutches at him.

She let out a startled shriek and as she stopped the movement of his fingers, which slipped in the sudden flood of her slick, enough to dampen the sheets beneath them, there was a wild moment where he worried that he'd done something wrong. Breathing raggedly, she heaved herself upright, her arms around him, and he let out a helpless moan as his thrusts slowed, giving both of them a moment to recover.

"Rey?" His tone was a soft and wavering supplication. "Should we stop?"

“No, no,” she assures him breathlessly, laughing softly at her own eagerness as she presses a kiss to his jaw. It’s easy for her to sense how difficult it is to restrain himself but he does it for her, and she shares her warm rush of affection.

“That was amazing, Ben. You’re amazing.” She rests an elbow on his shoulder so she can curl a hand around the top of his head, clutching at his soft hair as she rises up onto her knees. “You just made me feel a little too good, just for a second.”

After another breath, she finds the strength to start moving her hips up and down, dragging up the length of him and clenching around the head before sinking back down. She uses her grip on his hair to gently tug him back enough for her to kiss him, messy and off-center. “I want to make you feel like that, Ben. I want to make you feel so good.”

Echoing her laughter, Ben slid an arm behind her back, a soft gasp catching in his throat as she tugged his head back, her lips finding his in a messy kiss.

"You do," he promised, panting into her mouth. "You are."

Burying a hand in her hair, he broke their kiss only to look at her, his thumb tracing the faint scar on her cheek, eyes cataloging the little details he'd never been close enough to notice, until now.

It didn't last long, after that. When he came, it was with a strangled cry of her name, his gaze never leaving her own.

“Good.” Rey feels pinned under his gaze, but more than that she feels seen. Ben knows her, inside and out, and maybe if they had just discovered this sooner they could have saved so much time—

He goes tense around her, inside of her, and Rey cups his cheeks as he comes, looking him in the eye as her mouth falls open on a gasp. She can feel the echo of his pleasure and it makes her hips jerk as she stills in his lap.

“Ben, you’re so—“ There is no word for what she feels, so she kisses him instead, fingers sliding into his hair as collapses against him. “You fit so perfectly. Of course you do, don’t you? Of course.”

His arms around her, Ben tucked his chin over her shoulder, clinging to her as he caught his breath. With anyone else, he might've been embarrassed, even angry for her to see how overcome he was, but there was no hiding it from her.

Wordlessly, he nodded his agreement. Of course. And while he was perfectly happy with her knowing how he felt in that moment, he was glad that she couldn't see how his chin wobbled, his hand lifting to hastily wipe beneath his watery eyes.

Rey slides her hands up and down his back, soothing him as he holds her tight against his body, murmuring soft words of praise against the shell of his ear. Her arms and legs go around him and she knows that she knows what it feels like to be in his arms, she could never go without it.

After giving him a moment to compose himself, she pulls back and gives him a long kiss, letting her tongue sweep into his mouth before she pulls back to look at him. Her thumb sweeps gently under one eye before she leans in to press a tender kiss to the corner of the opposite eye, and then another to his forehead.

When he starts to soften, she lifts up and lets out a sigh as he slips from her. There’s a cold, wet spot under her back when she falls back onto the mattress, and her chest flushes pink when she feels his release leak out of her to join the mess, just as his gaze is sweeping over her.

“We should probably clean up at some point,” she murmurs, even as she reaches down to curiously drag her fingertips through the wetness at the crease of her thigh.

Making a sound that wasn't quite intelligible, Ben collapsed onto the mattress at her side, sprawled on his side to face her.

"Probably," he echoed, resting his hand on the flat of her belly, his fingers easily spanning from her ribs to her hipbones. Kissing the apex of her shoulder, he added, "Food and water might also become an issue."

“We can have people bring us food. Cheeseburgers,” she declares, once her stomach gives a little rumble under Ben’s hand. She rests her own over the top of it, tracing the veins in the back of his hand as they take a few moments to calm themselves.

“Okay, we need to take a shower.” She pats his arm and then rolls off of the bed, stumbling a little and stretching her arms over her head with a involuntary squeak. When she makes it to the door of the restroom, she looks over her shoulder at him. “Strip the sheets and come join me.”

In the bathroom, she takes the brief moment of privacy to empty her bladder and then opens the glass shower door, leaning into the to turn on the water. She holds a hand out as she waits for it to get warm, watching as water hits the tile and swirls down the drain. Showers still feel so luxurious to her, even after weeks spent being able to have them whenever she wanted.

Having Ben in the glass still with her will make it even better. Hurry, she thinks.

Watching her stumble from the bed, Ben allowed himself a small, private smile, his eyes taking in the compact lines of her back, the curve of her hips, the ample swell of her backside. With a groan, he rolled to his feet, wobbling on his long legs, his own unique blend of awkward and self-assured. It didn't occur to him to deny her request, and he quickly stripped the bed of its sheets, dumping them near what appeared to be a clothes hamper.

Crowding into the cramped bathroom with her somehow felt as intimate as being inside of her moments ago. Still, he approached the toilet to empty his own bladder, without shame.

When Ben follows her into the room, Rey allows herself to let her gaze sweep over him. He’s so tall, so strong, and she unabashedly stares at his backside as he steps up to the toilet. She goes so far as to reach out and give it a pinch, quick and playful before ducking into the shower.

The warm water quickly draws her attention and she groans, tipping her head back under the spray and reaching up to push her hair back from her face, eyes closed as water cascades down her body.

He didn't hesitate to follow her inside, shutting the glass door behind them. The shower was small, and his shoulder pressed against the back wall as he watched the tension in her seemed to bleed away, swirling down the drain along with the warm water.

Stepping up behind her, he rested his hands on her narrow waist and ducked to press his lips to her cheek, her lashes tickling his skin.

It’s not as if Rey had forgotten how tall Ben is, but the sheer size of him still seems to surprise her as he pulls her body back against his. It’s a good fit, her backside against his thighs, his hands spanning her narrow waist in a way that seems almost obscene.

She lifts her arm to reach back and curl it around his neck, tipping her had to the side to make more room for his mouth as she stretches her body out for his perusal. It’s his now anyway, she thinks, just like his body is now hers.

“I like this,” she sighs out, content as her fingers grip at his damp hair.

"I had noticed," he said wryly, looking down over her shoulder at the line of her torso, the water running in rivulets between her breasts, the dark thatch of hair between her legs. His cock pressed against the small of her back, flaccid but not uninterested.

Smiling faintly against her temple, he reached for the soap, lathering his hands and then going about gently washing the evening's exploits from her skin.

For some reason, she doesn’t expect him to wash her. The casual intimacy startles her, because no one has ever taken care of her like this. With anyone else, Rey would balk at it, shove it away, but Ben’s hands are so tender and she feels so safe that her eyes well up slightly as she relaxes into his soothing touch.

He can feel all of it, she’s sure, but she isn’t too embarrassed. She just leans back against him and revels in the feeling, letting her head rest back against his shoulder as his hands glide across her chest and stomach, under her arms and over her hips, down between her legs where she’s still sensitive and a little sore. Somehow it feels like one of the most intimate things they’ve done, and Rey lets out a shuddering breath.

Rey doesn’t need anyone to take care of her, but she might let Ben try a little, if he wanted.

He felt all of it. The instinct to push him away, to refuse to be coddled, the uncertainty and strangeness of being pampered... of being vulnerable. And all of it, he felt echoed within himself. Anyone else, and this never would've happened.

His touch was intimate but efficient, washing every inch of her within his reach. Once that was through, he moved on to the shampoo, rich and sweet-smelling. Another small luxury she'd allowed herself, just like those pajamas.

Working his fingers against her scalp, he fought a grin as he watched as a small bubble landed on the tip of her nose.

Rey can't help but to hum as Ben's fingers work through her hair, dragging along her scalp. It's so relaxing, and for a brief moment she feels nearly giddy. All the times they've faced off in anger, and now they're here, taking such gentle care of one another.

Never again will she raise her lightsaber at him, but she may slice through anyone who tried to do him harm. He doesn't need protecting, just like she doesn't need to be pampered, but they'll do both for each other anyway.

Her nose itches and she wriggles it, huffing out a breath as she reaches up to rub at it. Once Ben has guided her under the spray and rinsed all the soap from her hair, she switches places with him and sets about lathering up his body with her hands.

"This is much more work on my end," she teases, crouching down so that she can soap up his thick thighs, working her hand gently between his legs to clean away the mess she made of him. The position brings her face close to his cock and the hang of his testicles beneath, but there will be time for her to study that a little more closely later.

She rises back to her full height and reaches for the shampoo, pressing up onto her toes and leaning against him as she works her fingers through his thick hair. They're nearly nose to nose, and she smiles at him. "Hi."

"You're managing it all right," he said, hiding his own smile as he moved obediently where she wanted him, stooping a bit to help her reach his hair.

"Hi," he echoed back to her, finally losing that battle against his smile. It stretched wide, creasing his cheeks, his eyes alight with amusement. Nudging his nose against hers, he stepped back into the spray and rinsed the soap from his hair.

Opening the shower door and reaching for the towel on the bar, he arched a brow. "Only one?"

The sudden lack of warm water makes her shiver, and she crosses her arms over her chest as she waits for Ben to move out of the way. His question makes her pause and then she flushes, eyes widening a little.

"I-- didn't think I needed more than one," she tells him. "At the time."

His arm is outstretched and Rey narrows her eyes, making a quick calculation before suddenly ducking underneath it and snatching the towel from him, letting out a crow of victory as she skids across the tile floor.

"You need to be faster than that, Ben Solo." She snaps the towel out and drags it over her body with vigor, wanting to be dry, then gives him a cheery smile. "Sorry!"

Edited 2020-03-18 21:13 (UTC)

With a startled bark of laughter, Ben stumbled from the shower, his arms sliding around her waist, being sure to drip all over her as he crowded them both out of the bathroom.

On the way out the door, he reached out to snatch a hand towel, clearly bought in a set, from the loop by the sink and held it up in front of his crotch with a defiant smirk.

"You're the one left with me dripping all over your furniture."

Edited 2020-03-18 21:25 (UTC)

"Ben!" Rey squirms in his grip without any real intent to get away, laughing happily and stumbling forward once he lets her go. She turns around to see him there, barely covering himself with the towel, and lets out another happy laugh. He's so beautiful, especially when he smiles.

"We can share," she assures him, scrubbing the towel over her hair before coming over to drag across Ben's torso. She leaves him with the damp towel and then steps away, pulling on a clean pair of white cotton panties as her eyes fall on the crumpled pile of Ben's black sweater.

"Case in point." The sweater is soft in her hands when she scoops it up, and she tugs it over her head with a pleased sigh. It drapes down to her thighs, hanging over her hands, but she gives him another happy smile. "Sharing."

Edited 2020-03-18 21:34 (UTC)

Huffing out another laugh, he used the damp towel towel over his hair and down his legs, drying himself off quickly and efficiently. Tossing it into the same pile as the sheets, he walked over to retrieve his pants and pulled them on, the loose drawstring leaving them seated loose around his hips.

"I'm going to need that back," he said, without any real heat. He knew that she would be able to tell just how it felt, seeing her in his sweater, which hung nearly to her knees.

"It isn't going anywhere," she assures him, feeling her cheeks heat up as she takes a step closer to him. His mind hasn't felt shuttered to her in a long time, but now it's more open than ever. He looks at her and she can feel her own fond possessiveness mirrored there in him. It isn't a desire to own, or stake any claim, but instead the knowledge that they are a part of one another. They belong together.

She comes over and presses a kiss to a spot just below his collarbone, lingering for a moment before she bends to scoop up the bedding and the towel. It smells like them and she blushes as she carries them through the kitchen to the tiny washer and dryer set tucked away in a closet.

"It probably won't all fit," she says as she leans into the washer to retrieve a forgotten sock, kicking one leg back for balance. Just the sheets first, then. Blanket later. She shoves them into the machine and huffs in frustration when the detergent proves to be pushed too far back onto the top of the machine for her to reach, and then uses her mind to nudge it into her hand. "Ah ha!"

Moving forward to help her, Ben paused mid-step, smiling fondly as he watched the box of detergent slide across the top of the washer and into hand.

"Acquired a taste for coffee yet?" He asked, looking at the machine sitting on her counter— the same standard issue that had come with the apartment. He thought of that first evening in Darrow, sitting across from her at the dinner, watching the charming way her lip curled with every sip from the cup clutched between her hands.

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