strongerthanblood | [for ben]

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ben solo

[for ben]

She can't sleep.

For hours, she's tried but something is keeping her awake, some gnawing thing that she can't seem to identify. She gets up to make tea, padding silently through her too big apartment in a pajama set that felt had like a particularly decadent purchase, a soft pink silk tank with thin straps and matching shorts.

Boy shorts, the sales woman had called them. They don't look like anything she's ever seen a boy wear, but she didn't argue. She had thought the set was pretty, and she keeps telling herself that it's okay to get something just because it was pretty. And if a part of the reason she gets it is because maybe she'd like someone else to see it someday, well, she doesn't think on it too hard.

After drinking a cup of tea and doing a little reading, she tries again to go to sleep, but it's futile. She feels too warm, stretched out on one side of the bed with a sheet draped across her legs, and she closes her eyes again to avoid staring up at the ceiling.

She feels so restless, and she allows herself to wonder what Ben is doing, if he's tossing and turning like she is. She thinks of him so often, in a multitude of ways, but right now she thinks of him fondly, wondering what he might look like when he sleeps.

Rey is so busy wondering, in fact, that she doesn't even notice when the mattress subtly dips with added weight.

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Unsure of whether the dizziness he felt was hers or his own, Ben lay there panting for a long moment, staring up at her with eyes wide and full of wonder. His hands slid reverently up her thighs, his touch affectionate and soothing, his mind awash with nothing but the raw buzz of her power crackling between them.

Finally, he drew in a breath, and rolling her carefully onto her back, he settled between her knees, his cock nudging against her. With his forehead resting against hers, he caught her eyes, asking wordlessly for her permission.

She is still trembling as Ben moves her, letting him take all of her weight against his broad hands as she’s settled back onto the bed. When he leans over her, his chin is glossy with her slick, catching the light that filters in through the window.

Dazedly, she lifts her hand to touch his mouth, spreading that wetness along his jaw and down his throat, resting her hand against his pulse. Her other hand goes to his flank and she nods at him with an open-mouthed grin, slowly drawing her knees up to make more room for him, eager to have him inside of her.

Take me, she thinks.

At the sound of her voice echoing inside his head, Ben let out a wavering groan, one of relief and bewilderment in equal measure. His mind had been littered with voices that were not his own for so long, but never had one of them been so welcome.

Gripping himself in one hand, he sank into her in one long, steady stroke, her body adjusting to him with little resistance. Panting against her cheek, he boosted himself up on one arm, his other hand gripping at her knee, holding her open as he began rolling his hips into her own.

He could sense the thoughts on the surface of her mind, curious and single-minded in her desire, and he smiled warmly. "We'll have to leave this bed eventually."

Edited 2020-03-17 18:40 (UTC)

The second time that he enters her is better than the first, because he slides all the way in and there is no pain, only him nudging up at someplace deep inside of her. She raises one arm so that she can wrap her fingers around Ben’s forearm, keening softly as he starts to move.

He’s so deep that she’s almost surprised when she puts her hand low on her stomach and can’t feel him there. He’s taking up so much room, leaving her full and breathless, and her mind empties of everything but the pleasure soaring through her.

This is her meditation. This is everything.

“Never,” she shoots back, grinning up at him as she moves her hand down his back, gripping at the swell of one cheek to pull him in closer. When she leans up to kiss him, she can taste herself on his tongue. It only stokes the possessive urge she feels, and she whimpers into his mouth as she clings to him.

"You really are this stubborn about everything, aren't you," he teased, nudging his nose against hers as he returned her smile. Drawing up one of his knees, he was able to shift their hips, allowing for a deeper stroke, his cock sliding nearly out of her before plunging back in to the hilt.

His hope was that this encounter, unlike the night before, wouldn't be quite so embarrassingly brief.

“Obviously.” Her teeth find his bottom lip, nipping softly before he shifts their position. She would be hard pressed to admit it, but she likes the way he can drag her body where he wants it. Maybe it’s because she that, if she wanted, she could do the same to him.

She presses up onto one elbow underneath him and moans as he thrusts so deeply, hard enough that her breasts bounce in time as she stares up at him with an expression of absolute awe.

Her body clenches down around him and she can feel how much he likes it, so she does it again, angling her hips in the way that makes his pleasure spike the most. She’s aware of every bit of him, and she lets her head tip back when his cock hits that spot inside of her that makes her shake, moaning out his name like a prayer.

Logically, he knew that eventually the fire of this would burn lower, and they would be able to focus on other things. They would, eventually, be able to look at the world outside of one another. But for now, that seemed unfathomable. Their bodies were made for one another, and all that time spent at odds could only be remedied by this... By giving into this, giving in to her.

He was struck by the animal nature of this, the selfishness of their obsession with one another, the very antithesis of what the Jedi demanded of them. Neither of them had ever excelled at following rules, and perhaps it was arrogance, believing that they had the capacity to change things, but he had to believe— he had to hope that they were choosing each other for the right reasons.

She moaned with abandon, her teeth clenched, looking upon him with the same ferocity she'd shown on the wave-swept ruins of the Death Star. Feeling lost in a frenzy, he drew himself up onto his haunches, pulling her into the cradle of his hips, his hand sliding from her flank to touch her where she was still so wet and swollen.

Ben drags her in by the hips, speared across his thighs, and in this position Rey can do little but lie back and take it. She does just that, throwing her arms up over her head as she stares up at him, knowing her body is completely on display in the glowing sunlight. Every freckle, every scar.

A filthy curse bursts out of her at that confident press of his fingers. She’s sensitive almost to the point of soreness but it doesn’t matter, because she wants more. Rey thought she knew true hunger but she had no idea, not until this. Not until Ben.

This time her orgasm seems to take her by surprise, and she cries out sharply as she throws her hand out and halts the motion of his fingers with the Force, because it’s too much and she’s gushing wetly against his palm while gasping out his name.

Her whole body trembles with the aftershocks and she releases the hold on his fingers after pulling them away from where she’s most sensitive. Gulping for breath, she heaves herself up until she can wrap her arms around him, nestled perfectly in his lap as his cock sinks in as deeply as he can go, filling her entirely as she clutches at him.

She let out a startled shriek and as she stopped the movement of his fingers, which slipped in the sudden flood of her slick, enough to dampen the sheets beneath them, there was a wild moment where he worried that he'd done something wrong. Breathing raggedly, she heaved herself upright, her arms around him, and he let out a helpless moan as his thrusts slowed, giving both of them a moment to recover.

"Rey?" His tone was a soft and wavering supplication. "Should we stop?"

“No, no,” she assures him breathlessly, laughing softly at her own eagerness as she presses a kiss to his jaw. It’s easy for her to sense how difficult it is to restrain himself but he does it for her, and she shares her warm rush of affection.

“That was amazing, Ben. You’re amazing.” She rests an elbow on his shoulder so she can curl a hand around the top of his head, clutching at his soft hair as she rises up onto her knees. “You just made me feel a little too good, just for a second.”

After another breath, she finds the strength to start moving her hips up and down, dragging up the length of him and clenching around the head before sinking back down. She uses her grip on his hair to gently tug him back enough for her to kiss him, messy and off-center. “I want to make you feel like that, Ben. I want to make you feel so good.”

Echoing her laughter, Ben slid an arm behind her back, a soft gasp catching in his throat as she tugged his head back, her lips finding his in a messy kiss.

"You do," he promised, panting into her mouth. "You are."

Burying a hand in her hair, he broke their kiss only to look at her, his thumb tracing the faint scar on her cheek, eyes cataloging the little details he'd never been close enough to notice, until now.

It didn't last long, after that. When he came, it was with a strangled cry of her name, his gaze never leaving her own.

“Good.” Rey feels pinned under his gaze, but more than that she feels seen. Ben knows her, inside and out, and maybe if they had just discovered this sooner they could have saved so much time—

He goes tense around her, inside of her, and Rey cups his cheeks as he comes, looking him in the eye as her mouth falls open on a gasp. She can feel the echo of his pleasure and it makes her hips jerk as she stills in his lap.

“Ben, you’re so—“ There is no word for what she feels, so she kisses him instead, fingers sliding into his hair as collapses against him. “You fit so perfectly. Of course you do, don’t you? Of course.”

His arms around her, Ben tucked his chin over her shoulder, clinging to her as he caught his breath. With anyone else, he might've been embarrassed, even angry for her to see how overcome he was, but there was no hiding it from her.

Wordlessly, he nodded his agreement. Of course. And while he was perfectly happy with her knowing how he felt in that moment, he was glad that she couldn't see how his chin wobbled, his hand lifting to hastily wipe beneath his watery eyes.

Rey slides her hands up and down his back, soothing him as he holds her tight against his body, murmuring soft words of praise against the shell of his ear. Her arms and legs go around him and she knows that she knows what it feels like to be in his arms, she could never go without it.

After giving him a moment to compose himself, she pulls back and gives him a long kiss, letting her tongue sweep into his mouth before she pulls back to look at him. Her thumb sweeps gently under one eye before she leans in to press a tender kiss to the corner of the opposite eye, and then another to his forehead.

When he starts to soften, she lifts up and lets out a sigh as he slips from her. There’s a cold, wet spot under her back when she falls back onto the mattress, and her chest flushes pink when she feels his release leak out of her to join the mess, just as his gaze is sweeping over her.

“We should probably clean up at some point,” she murmurs, even as she reaches down to curiously drag her fingertips through the wetness at the crease of her thigh.

Making a sound that wasn't quite intelligible, Ben collapsed onto the mattress at her side, sprawled on his side to face her.

"Probably," he echoed, resting his hand on the flat of her belly, his fingers easily spanning from her ribs to her hipbones. Kissing the apex of her shoulder, he added, "Food and water might also become an issue."

“We can have people bring us food. Cheeseburgers,” she declares, once her stomach gives a little rumble under Ben’s hand. She rests her own over the top of it, tracing the veins in the back of his hand as they take a few moments to calm themselves.

“Okay, we need to take a shower.” She pats his arm and then rolls off of the bed, stumbling a little and stretching her arms over her head with a involuntary squeak. When she makes it to the door of the restroom, she looks over her shoulder at him. “Strip the sheets and come join me.”

In the bathroom, she takes the brief moment of privacy to empty her bladder and then opens the glass shower door, leaning into the to turn on the water. She holds a hand out as she waits for it to get warm, watching as water hits the tile and swirls down the drain. Showers still feel so luxurious to her, even after weeks spent being able to have them whenever she wanted.

Having Ben in the glass still with her will make it even better. Hurry, she thinks.

Watching her stumble from the bed, Ben allowed himself a small, private smile, his eyes taking in the compact lines of her back, the curve of her hips, the ample swell of her backside. With a groan, he rolled to his feet, wobbling on his long legs, his own unique blend of awkward and self-assured. It didn't occur to him to deny her request, and he quickly stripped the bed of its sheets, dumping them near what appeared to be a clothes hamper.

Crowding into the cramped bathroom with her somehow felt as intimate as being inside of her moments ago. Still, he approached the toilet to empty his own bladder, without shame.

When Ben follows her into the room, Rey allows herself to let her gaze sweep over him. He’s so tall, so strong, and she unabashedly stares at his backside as he steps up to the toilet. She goes so far as to reach out and give it a pinch, quick and playful before ducking into the shower.

The warm water quickly draws her attention and she groans, tipping her head back under the spray and reaching up to push her hair back from her face, eyes closed as water cascades down her body.

He didn't hesitate to follow her inside, shutting the glass door behind them. The shower was small, and his shoulder pressed against the back wall as he watched the tension in her seemed to bleed away, swirling down the drain along with the warm water.

Stepping up behind her, he rested his hands on her narrow waist and ducked to press his lips to her cheek, her lashes tickling his skin.

It’s not as if Rey had forgotten how tall Ben is, but the sheer size of him still seems to surprise her as he pulls her body back against his. It’s a good fit, her backside against his thighs, his hands spanning her narrow waist in a way that seems almost obscene.

She lifts her arm to reach back and curl it around his neck, tipping her had to the side to make more room for his mouth as she stretches her body out for his perusal. It’s his now anyway, she thinks, just like his body is now hers.

“I like this,” she sighs out, content as her fingers grip at his damp hair.

"I had noticed," he said wryly, looking down over her shoulder at the line of her torso, the water running in rivulets between her breasts, the dark thatch of hair between her legs. His cock pressed against the small of her back, flaccid but not uninterested.

Smiling faintly against her temple, he reached for the soap, lathering his hands and then going about gently washing the evening's exploits from her skin.

For some reason, she doesn’t expect him to wash her. The casual intimacy startles her, because no one has ever taken care of her like this. With anyone else, Rey would balk at it, shove it away, but Ben’s hands are so tender and she feels so safe that her eyes well up slightly as she relaxes into his soothing touch.

He can feel all of it, she’s sure, but she isn’t too embarrassed. She just leans back against him and revels in the feeling, letting her head rest back against his shoulder as his hands glide across her chest and stomach, under her arms and over her hips, down between her legs where she’s still sensitive and a little sore. Somehow it feels like one of the most intimate things they’ve done, and Rey lets out a shuddering breath.

Rey doesn’t need anyone to take care of her, but she might let Ben try a little, if he wanted.

He felt all of it. The instinct to push him away, to refuse to be coddled, the uncertainty and strangeness of being pampered... of being vulnerable. And all of it, he felt echoed within himself. Anyone else, and this never would've happened.

His touch was intimate but efficient, washing every inch of her within his reach. Once that was through, he moved on to the shampoo, rich and sweet-smelling. Another small luxury she'd allowed herself, just like those pajamas.

Working his fingers against her scalp, he fought a grin as he watched as a small bubble landed on the tip of her nose.

Rey can't help but to hum as Ben's fingers work through her hair, dragging along her scalp. It's so relaxing, and for a brief moment she feels nearly giddy. All the times they've faced off in anger, and now they're here, taking such gentle care of one another.

Never again will she raise her lightsaber at him, but she may slice through anyone who tried to do him harm. He doesn't need protecting, just like she doesn't need to be pampered, but they'll do both for each other anyway.

Her nose itches and she wriggles it, huffing out a breath as she reaches up to rub at it. Once Ben has guided her under the spray and rinsed all the soap from her hair, she switches places with him and sets about lathering up his body with her hands.

"This is much more work on my end," she teases, crouching down so that she can soap up his thick thighs, working her hand gently between his legs to clean away the mess she made of him. The position brings her face close to his cock and the hang of his testicles beneath, but there will be time for her to study that a little more closely later.

She rises back to her full height and reaches for the shampoo, pressing up onto her toes and leaning against him as she works her fingers through his thick hair. They're nearly nose to nose, and she smiles at him. "Hi."

"You're managing it all right," he said, hiding his own smile as he moved obediently where she wanted him, stooping a bit to help her reach his hair.

"Hi," he echoed back to her, finally losing that battle against his smile. It stretched wide, creasing his cheeks, his eyes alight with amusement. Nudging his nose against hers, he stepped back into the spray and rinsed the soap from his hair.

Opening the shower door and reaching for the towel on the bar, he arched a brow. "Only one?"

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