[for ben]

[strongerthanblood]

She can't sleep.

For hours, she's tried but something is keeping her awake, some gnawing thing that she can't seem to identify. She gets up to make tea, padding silently through her too big apartment in a pajama set that felt had like a particularly decadent purchase, a soft pink silk tank with thin straps and matching shorts.

Boy shorts, the sales woman had called them. They don't look like anything she's ever seen a boy wear, but she didn't argue. She had thought the set was pretty, and she keeps telling herself that it's okay to get something just because it was pretty. And if a part of the reason she gets it is because maybe she'd like someone else to see it someday, well, she doesn't think on it too hard.

After drinking a cup of tea and doing a little reading, she tries again to go to sleep, but it's futile. She feels too warm, stretched out on one side of the bed with a sheet draped across her legs, and she closes her eyes again to avoid staring up at the ceiling.

She feels so restless, and she allows herself to wonder what Ben is doing, if he's tossing and turning like she is. She thinks of him so often, in a multitude of ways, but right now she thinks of him fondly, wondering what he might look like when he sleeps.

Rey is so busy wondering, in fact, that she doesn't even notice when the mattress subtly dips with added weight.

Comments

[weakandfoolish]

He dreamed of her.

Those dreams were never specific, and they tended to fade like smoke the moment he awoke from them, more a series of feelings than anything he could recount. Often, he returned to consciousness with a gasp, heart hammering in his chest, the sheets sweaty and tangled around him. Guilt clawing at his throat. More rarely, he awoke slowly, gently, feeling more rested than he had in nearly a decade, the whisper of her voice echoing through his mind.

That night, he merely dozed, frustrated by his inability to drift off completely. He'd slept rarely, in his years with the First Order, but when he had, he'd tended to sleep deeply and efficiently. If there were dreams, he stubbornly refused to give them any consideration. Now, his mind was a jumble of all those thoughts he'd denied.

Shutting his eyes, he drew in a slow, steadying breath, reminding himself to be mindful of the space around him. It was then, laying on his side beneath the thin sheets of his bed, that he felt the mattress dip beside him. Opening his eyes, he found her lying there, the dim light from the window casting her pale skin an eerie blue.

Frozen, he watched her, unsure of what to do. The rise and fall of her chest matched his own— slow and steady, despite the hammering of his heart. There was a small freckle on her breastbone. He couldn't seem to look away.

"Rey," he finally murmured into the silent room, as he slowly lifted his head, propping himself up onto one elbow. This wasn't the first time that she'd called to him while he'd been asleep, but it was the first time they'd found themselves in this position, under the covers and with him wearing nothing more than a pair of dark grey sleep pants, and Rey wearing...

Well.

[strongerthanblood]

Awareness comes to Rey slowly, and the first thing that really registers is blessed warmth. She always feels a little cold here, after so long spent adapting to the desert, so she sinks into that warmth gratefully.

And then she realizes that she is curled up to Ben's side, in her bed, and everything that happened the previous night comes rushing back. There is surprise, but no regrets. No shame whatsoever. In fact, she smiles as she feels the pleasant ache between her legs, and pushes herself up onto one arm so she can look down at him.

The morning sunlight spills into her room and lets her see him in a way that she couldn't the night before, and she greedily takes in the sight of his face, lax with sleep. She was right; he does look almost like just a boy, soft and unburdened.

Her eager gaze trails over the long column of his throat, over his broad chest and small, tight nipples, leaning over to press a soft kiss just below one. Giving the sheet just one little tug reveals his-- his cock, impressive even while flaccid and nestled in a thatch of dark curls. It's the first time she's really gotten a good look at it and she lifts her hand to reach out and touch, but she pauses.

She actually feels a little ashamed to be doing this while he's asleep, because so much has been taken from Ben. So many people used him, and Rey doesn't want to be yet another person who takes without asking.

"Ben," she breathes out quietly, leaning over him and letting her fingers trail along his chin, slightly darkened with stubble growth. "Will you wake up for me?"